We all agree that responsible parents nose around their children’s bedroom to find out what they might be doing wrong.   Eventually, they leave our house, get married, move away, start their own families, and we basically stop worrying about them.  But suddenly, when you turn eighty,  you see  signs that your children are checking on you.

Most parents of teenagers  will admit to inspecting  their room for  pot, cigarettes   condoms ,  pregnancy tests , alcohol, or  God-forbid, guns.  In the old days, parents would look for handwritten notes and letters, but it’s more difficult nowadays to check their texts and private Instagram account.  Yes, we were guilty of invading their privacy, but it seemed like a justifiable breach of ethics.  And, lets face it, parents who don’t know what’s going on in their kids private lives may end up finding out they’ve decided to take a gun to school and shoot someone.

But it comes as a surprise when you turn 80, and  the tables are turned.  Here are 7 signs  your adult children are checking on you.

1. Surprise visits.  This is especially telling if they don’t live nearby. Suddenly, they arrive at your door with no apology for getting you out of bed at 9 a.m., or catching you wearing a dirty tee shirt and sweat pants.

2.  Request that you drive them on an errand they could easily do on their own. At first, you wonder if they’re too cheap to use their own gas.  Then, you get it. The driving test is meant to determine whether you stay in the same lane, drive 10 miles an hours, run red lights, or pull out in front of oncoming cars. They might also question how  you got that dented fender  when someone hit you in the parking lot.

3.  Root around in your refrigerator.  Is it clean?  Are there  containers with moldy leftovers?  Do you have too many bottles of ketchup? (This indicates memory problems, because you forgot you already had  ketchup when you went to to the store.

4.  Investigate the papers  on your desk.  Usually, the child will wait until they think you’re busy with something else.   Then, you catch them going through your desk drawers and checkbooks.  They’re looking for  money management skills.  Do you pay your bills on time? Are there letters from creditors for overdue bills?

5.  Lengthy visits to both bathrooms.  According to experts, dirty bathrooms are the first sign a parent is losing it.  They might clean up the living room and make their beds if they know you’re coming, but if their eyesight is so poor, and their housekeeping so slovenly that they won’t clean their toilets or sink, much less scrub the floors, they’re losing it.

6.  The sniff test.  A prolonged hug, or unnatural closeness could mean they’re checking your personal hygiene.  How often do you bathe and wash your hair?  Do you wear clean clothes?  If you flunk this test,  they might ask if you need help taking a shower.

7.  Going through your medicine cabinet.  Do you have expired prescription drugs?  Dried up bottles of Pepto Bismo?  When they leave, you may find your medicine cabinet is half empty.

It’s irritating when you realize your children are turning the tables, sneaking around to check on you the way you did when they were teenagers.  But at least it means they care.

Just a word of advice:  If you know the kids are going to drop by, hide those extra bottles of ketchup in the frig and for heaven’s sake, clean your bathroom.