A female who is interacting with colleagues,  salesmen, store clerks and other strangers is addressed in different ways as she navigates through life.  A child, of course, will usually be called Honey or Dear. As a young adult, I was often called Hon, Babe Miss,  or Gal (shudder). A wedding ring brought a  little more respect, especially if there were kids in tow.  You found yourself being called Ma’m more often than not.

Now, if you happened to go into the deep south–someplace like Savannah–you might be called Sugar, no matter how old you were.. It was part of their culture,  and wasn’t referring to anything but your gender.  I always loved it when people called me that.  It was pronounced Sugahh, and you knew it was just a gracious way to make you feel warm and welcome.

Then, along about the age of fifty or thereafter, you notice some of the men you interact with have begun to call you Young Lady.  I know it was meant to be flattering, but it came across as condescending, and made me cringe. It implied that even though I was post menopausal, I still looked pretty decent for my age.

Would a man of sixty like a woman to call him Young Man?  And why wasn’t I called that when I actually was a young lady?

But when you start approaching eighty,  it gets worse;  now they  call you Sweetie or Sweetheart, as if they are patting a little old lady on the head. I do not appreciate hairdressers, waitresses, salesclerks and other strangers using such  terms of endearment.  I am not anyone’s sweetheart but my husband’s.  I know they mean well, but I just wish they knew that a simple,  respectful Ma’m would do..