GOOD INTENTIONS OFTEN GO ASTRAY

Have you noticed all the new people at your fitness center or aquatic class? It looks like a lot of folks decided to get in shape this year. Great! Glad to see them. But there are lots of other New Year’s resolutions that don’t involve losing weight. Quit drinking alcohol. Cut down on video games. Call home every week. Stop smoking. Take French lessons. The list goes on and on. And they’re mostly about stopping or starting something. But statistics indicate that most of those resolutions are abandoned by January 18. Good Intentions often go astray.

Why do people give up so easily? They wanted to do something to improve their lives or happiness. And yet, they lacked the to follow through on their good intentions. Now, they feel a little bit disappointed in themselves. The truth is, they probably would have wound up in a much better frame of mind if only they’d had a little more of that good old stick- to-it-iveness.

GOOD INTENTIONS OFTEN GO ASTRAY. By the end of Jan, most have given up — Good Intentions Often Go Astray. Most New Years’ Resolutions are given up by January 18.

The strategies for stopping or starting a habit are completely different. Psychologists tend to focus on the stop issue, because the undesirable habit often involves some type of addiction, which is difficult to overcome. There are long lists of suggestions : join a support group, avoid triggers, etc. etc. Alcoholics should not go places where they serve beer, or keep it in their frig. Smokers should not have a pack of cigarettes in their purse or hang out with other smokers. But the truth is, most addictions are a reaction to stress and anxiety, and it’s hard to quit a bad job or stop worrying about your rebellious teenager.

Starting a new habit calls for an entirely different set of mental muscles. You go to the gym for one class and then never go back. Why? It was too much trouble changing clothes. Walking a treadmill is boring. Whatever. You signed up for French lessons and you couldn’t even speak a whole sentence after the first class. It’s way too challenging and when are you going to Paris, anyway? But what if you hadn’t given up so easily? By summer, you might not mind putting on a bathing suit. Or, you could decide to vacation on the French Rivera instead of going to Vegas.

However, there’s one approach that works for both kinds of resolutions : Mindfulness meditation. I know, it sounds kind of new age and hokey. But it works. And it’s really quite simple. Before you decide to re start a bad habit lean back in your chair and take a few, cleansing deep breaths. Next, acknowledge and accept your feelings, without judgement.” I really need that fix from nicotine or alcohol because I’m feeling stressed about my …job…marriage….. I can feel it in my bones.” Stop, breathe some more. The stressful situation won’t last forever. You can do this. More deep breaths. The urge has come and gone

Use the same technique if you’re tempted to quit the new, desirable behavior. Deep breaths. Walking the treadmill is boring. Going to the gym is too much trouble. I’m not seeing any immediate results. Breathe in, breath out. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You know you will feel much better after a few workouts. Keep going.

Getting started with mindfulness is simple in this high tech world of ours. There are apps like Calm which can be downloaded for free or for a small fee. Mindfulness meditation should be your best New Years resolution. Good intentions often go astray. Don’t let that happen in this Happy New Year of 2023.

November 15, 2022

MANAGING A MINI MELTDOWN

It probably happens to everyone: a series of mishaps in a short period of time that overwhelms your nervous system. I’m not talking about a car crash, house fire, or tornado. Those are major events with life changing outcomes. But sometimes, it’s a bunch of little things that drive you to the brink. Managing a mini meltdown with the help of alternative therapies such as mindfulness, meditation and tai chi can help.

But still, it was a tough weekend for me. Friday was the first anniversary of the death of a loved one.. Heading into the weekend, my husband’s fragile health condition took a turn for the worse, and we had to decide whether he should call the doctor. (Who isn’t available on weekends) The next afternoon, I lost my credit card at the grocery store. Later that day, had an unexpected visitor who we really didn’t want to see. When the mail came, I found two letters chiding me for overdue payments that I had already made through online banking.

And to top it all off, the 2022 election has turned out to be a nail biter. . I can remember when we knew the winners of all races on election night. Now, the counting goes on for weeks, with thousands of mysterious mail in ballots cropping up from out of nowhere to turn everything around. And when the person running for governor in Arizona is also in charge of the election, you lose faith in the entire electoral process. It’s disturbing to realize that our nation could be run by people who weren’t elected legitimately.

By Sunday night, my stomach was churning and I wondered how I could even fix dinner. Turned out I didn’t have to, because my husband only wanted a fruit smoothie, which suited me just fine. Then, I sat in the recliner, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Mindfulness has taught me to accept my feelings, thoughts, and body sensations, without being overwhelmed by them. Concentrated on my breathing, meditated, then did some tai chi.

Breathe in. breathe out. My husband made it through the weekend without having to go to the ER. More deep breaths. The people who sent the deadbeat letters admitted they hadn’t gotten around to posting payments for over a month . Feeling calmer, Put my credit card on hold. Think I’ll become one of those little old ladies who write checks at the grocery store. Went swimming on Monday, and felt the gloom begin to lift. I can’t control the election process, so we’ll have to live with whatever happens.

The next time you have a mini meltdown, remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. With the help of meditation, mindfulness, controlled breathing, and other calming techniques, you can mange to come out on the other side. .

July 1, 2022July 1, 2022

6 SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENT

Once you’ve turned 80, you realize how many presidents you’ve known (or endured) in your lifetime. There are times when I think the country might do better without a president, because we’ve lasted through so many of their poor decisions and mistakes. Thankfully, they’ve done a few things right, which is probably one reason we’re still standing. Not sure if I’ll be around for the 2024 election, so just in case I’m not, I have a few suggestions for the next President of the United States of America.

6 suggestions for next president: Don't throw ketchup on the wall — 6 SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENT: #6 Don’t throw plates against the wall. Someone will have to clean up the ketchup.

#1. Don’t ride in an open convertible during a parade. Presidents used to do that all the time. I remember the thrill of looking into Dwight Eisenhower’s beautiful blue eyes on one of his visits to Chicago. However, it didn’t work out well for John F. Kennedy in Dallas. .

#2. Bury the tapes. If you’re going to do something so foolish as to break into the opposing party’s election headquarters, for heaven’s sake, hide the evidence. Nixon thought he was preserving an important part of history by saving all of his conversations regarding Watergate. But the tapes came back to bite him. If the next president tries such a break-in, it will be much more complicated. He’ would have to erase all the text messages, e mails, and records of cell phone calls. Better yet, he should conduct any communication regarding such an activity one-on-one, inside a big closet. But make sure it’s debugged.

#3. If you’re feeling sick, don’t attend a state dinner with the Japanese Prime Minister. You’re liable to vomit in his lap, and it will make international headlines. George W. Bush later claimed it was just a simple case of the flu. Unfortunately, it was right around election time, and many people thought that episode contributed to his defeat.

#4 . Don’t smoke cigars, and if you do, keep them out of the oval office. Especially while conducting a tryst with an intern. And if things get out of hand, make sure you have a change of clothes available. Unlike Bill Clinton, don’t let her leave the room with the evidence . And once you have the blue dress, cut it up in little bitty pieces and flush it down the toilet.

#5. Speaking of toilets: Don’t use the toilet while talking to reporters. LBJ was known for sitting on the pot while conducting interviews. He got away with such crude behavior for awhile, but in the end, he realized he couldn’t get re elected.

#6. Unlike Trump, don’t throw plates against the wall when you get mad. Somebody will have to clean up the ketchup, and eventually, they’re going to testify before some congressional committee about your poor anger management skills. There are lots of apps now that help with that. Subscribe to something like CALM, meditate once a day, and do some deep breathing exercise before meeting with your attorney general after the election .

I don’t know about you, but I’m really hoping the next president won’t be an octogenarian like myself. We need a younger candidate who has demonstrated some common sense. But why would any sensible person want to run for president?

February 6, 2022February 6, 2022

8 BLESSINGS IN THE STORM

If you live in this part of the country, you just got through one of the wildest snow storms we’ve endured for years. At our age, we’ve lived through many such storms and blizzards. Especially, my Nebraska-born husband. However, we’ve been spoiled the past few years, with some fairly mild winters. We forgot what it’s like to live through one of those whoppers that left our trash cans frozen in a mound of hard, icy snow. Housebound for three days seemed like an eternity for a person who likes to come and go as she pleases. Nevertheless, we were grateful for 8 blessings in the storm:

1. No power outage. . We called several stores to see if we could purchase a kerosene heater, but everyone was sold out. Consequently, we were prepared to find a hotel room somewhere if we lost power.. At our age, we simply aren’t equipped to deal with all the inconveniences. But for once, Duke Energy kept us all wired. I don’t think anyone in our city lost power.

2. Children living nearby. My girls live too far away to be of any help during a storm. Fortunately, my husband’s twin sons are in town. They called every day to see if we needed help, and even picked up our mail. What a blessing to have adult children living in your same city

3. Hot beverages. Coffee in the morning, cocoa or tea in the afternoon. Sipping these warm drinks while watching the snow fall was so comforting.

4. Flannel sheets. Nothing helps a good nights sleep on a snowy night so much as snuggling up in their warmth. Go one step further and wear flannel jammies all day long.

5 .I phone, with all its apps. Our newspapers weren’t delivered, but my trusty smart phone kept us informed of all the latest news. Also, there are several meditation apps. I’ve been using Calm for years, and it’s helped through some rough times. It’s amazing what a few breathing exercises and inspirational messages can do for your peace of mind.

6..Library books. We loaded up on enough to get us through the storm. There’s nothing cozier than reading a best seller and sipping a cup of tea while the wind blows outside.

7. Amaryllis in Bloom. Indoor bulbs are a beautiful way to brighten winter days. Ours opened up just as the snow started to fall.

8. Jigsaw puzzle. As children in the post depression years, we always had one in progress . Without television, computers, or smart phones, these puzzles entertained us on dreary winter days . Modern technology rendered them obsolete. But all of a sudden, we realized how much fun they are. And they’re good for the aging brain!

When the snow melts and the sun shines, we’ll remember these 8 blessings in the storm of 2022 with gratitude.