BEAT THE BLUES WITH GRATITUDE

Sometimes, you have a streak of bad luck. You lose your cell phone, have a falling out with a loved one, and get into a fender bender at the Walmart  parking lot.  On top of that, it rains all day, and suddenly you’re in a funk and can’t seem to pull yourself out.  That happened to me awhile back, and then I ran across one of those self help articles which said that keeping a  gratitude list over a period of one month would leave you in a better mood than a bottle of St. John’s wort.
The suggestion  was this:  Every day, for one month, list three things you’re grateful for.  That calculates to approximately 90 items.  After listing the obvious things like family, friends and home, I wasn’t sure I could do that.  But surprisingly, I found  I’d taken many small joys for granted—like hot coffee and the morning newspaper.  How many women in war torn countries can enjoy these simple pleasures?  And so, the list began to grow, and yes, it worked and by Christmas, I had made it through number 65 , and  was my old self again.
Then my husband had surgery, I got the flu, and we finally went south for a few weeks.  Now that we’re back, it’s been nothing but snow, ice and cold in April.  Time to finish my  gratitude list before the blues take me down.  Today I started again:
66. blooming daffodils
67. my husband’s  recovery
68. a good night’s sleep.
There.  I’m done for the day, and already feeling better. 
So, the next time you lose your wallet and you’re coming down with a cold, whip out a notebook or open up a new document on your computer titled Gratitude List.

JIM CROW LAWS & SEGREGATED BATHROOMS

On the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr’s assassination, I thought back to the time I first saw a segregated bathroom. I came of age in the State of Indiana, moved to Chicago, and had no idea there was such a thing.

While growing up on the wrong side of  town, most of my neighbors didn’t go anywhere special for summer vacations. State parks, maybe.  Later, in college, I knew lots of kids who could afford to go to Florida for spring break, but not one of them ever reported having to watch where they went to pee. I had never traveled south to Florida until I was married at age twenty four.

In 1960, my then husband decided to return to college for a degree from the University of Miami.   After about a month of staying with in-laws, we rented a small apartment near the University.  I didn’t know a soul, was bored to death, and worried about money.  Two blocks away was a Sears Department Store.  I knew my college degree wouldn’t  mean much to them, but I had worked my way through school as a secretary, so figured that might qualify me for a job in the office at Sears.

I put on my best dress, a pair of high heels, walked in 90 degree heat to the store, and asked for directions to the Personnel  Office. (They didn’t call it Human Resources then.)  After climbing the stairs to the second floor, I thought I’d better stop in the restroom to wipe the sweat off my face and comb my hair.  I asked someone where the Ladies Room was, and a bored clerk pointed her finger.  Without paying much attention, I entered the restroom, surprised that it was dingy and smelly.

After I’d checked my appearance, I walked back into the store, and noticed all the white salespeople staring at me.  I wondered if I was trailing toilet paper. Alarmed,  I turned around, and realized  that I had made what appeared to be a serious mistake. A large sign said LADIES ROOM. I hadn’t noticed the two smaller signs underneath, above two doors. One restroom was for COLORED,  and the other WHITE.  I had gone in the wrong door!

I was so shocked that when I finally sat down for an interview, I was shaking. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.  I suppose I was rejected for one of two reasons:  they thought I was either a nervous wreck or colored. Maybe both.

STORMY DANIELS BUSTING HER BUTTONS

This is not about politics or POTUS.   It’s about the Stormy Daniels interview with Anderson Cooper.
I actually didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying because her tight fitting red blouse was distracting and annoying.  If you put on a garment that is too tight across the bust,  usually, you take it off  and find something that fits now that you’ve gained some extra weight. Nearly busting  her buttons  looked like a cheesy way to get male attention and approval.  I  used to manage  rental property and if I had to take a young woman to court for eviction proceedings, invariably she would show plenty of cleavage or wear a button buster.  Unfortunately, most  male judges were susceptible and gave the defendant an extra week or so more than the law requires.

I would guess that men enjoyed the interview more than women.  Females are quick to pick up on cheap tricks.   Then there’s the fact that Stormy once practiced  the world’s oldest profession.

Apparently, she was going for the tailored look, but this photo- shopped picture of Stormy in her heyday is the only one I could find on the internet that wouldn’t get me kicked off Blogger.   And if you look for too tight blouse pictures, you will find they are for adults only.   Honestly, why would anyone take Stormy Daniels seriously?  (Except a male judge, maybe) Meow, meow.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CATS & PIGS

Remember the time–just a couple of years ago–when you thought you knew what a Service Animal was?  You believed it was a dog trained to perform specific tasks for their physically or mentally impaired handlers.  That’s all changed of late.  For $75,  you can go online and register your pet as an  Emotional Support Animal.  The benefit being that you can take it on a plane, into a restaurant, or into a no-pets rental unit.

But hang on there.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  There’s a little caveat to buying that certificate. If you really want to force someone to accommodate such an animal, the registration must be accompanied by a letter from a doctor–and in some states–a psychiatrist, if you’re planning to take your case to court.  In my state of Indiana, owners of public accommodations are not required to allow Emotional Support Animals, only Service Animals.

People didn’t used to advertise their emotional problems.  If you were depressed, you saw a doctor or shared it with family and close friends.  You didn’t think it was anybody’s business but your own.  But now, you can proudly walk into an airport or restaurant with a cat or a pig and everyone will know you might be on Prozac, and can’t  get through a day without this animal to prop up your mood.  Never mind if someone nearby is wildly allergic to cats. Allergies are no defense against Emotional Support Animals.

It might be a good idea to bring along a box of Kleenex the next time you take a trip or go out to dinner.

What Will Millennials Do When They Retire?

We of the Silent Generation retired years ago.  And, believe it or not, there are a few codgers still left from the Greatest Generation.  None of us had ever heard of a computer or a cellphone when we were teenagers.  Television was in it’s infancy.  One of the most popular ways of passing time for young people was playing cards.  College students hung out in student union buildings playing bridge. Other popular card games were pitch, euchre, poker and hearts.  Card games required you to interact face to face with live human beings.  A lot of conversation and bantering took place while you were waiting for someone to decide which card to play.

One of the things retirees miss most is seeing people every day.  For older retirees, card playing is a bridge over those troubled waters.  Some men and women in their eighties play cards five times a week.  It keeps their mind active, but more importantly, they can  make new friends and  interact with real, live people on a regular basis.  Playing cards keeps loneliness at bay .

What will Millennials do when they retire? Will they sit back in their rockers and play games on their smart phones or computers all day?  And will social media prove an adequate replacement for the friendly–and sometimes not so friendly–work relationships they took for granted? There’s always television, of course, but anyone who’s been bedridden for a week or so knows how boring and unfulfilling that can be.

Perhaps they think they will play endless rounds of golf or tennis.  What they can’t foresee is whether their knees will hold out that long, or if cardiovascular problems will rule out any type of physical activity.  Hobbyists will enjoy their crafts, and gardeners will plant more bulbs.  But at the end of the day, it’s nice to hang out with friends in a good game of cards.

DO #SLUTTY COMEDIANS HELP WOMEN?

A few years ago, Amy Schumer was on the cover of some magazine, bragged she had slept with twenty eight men, and then proceeded to describe a one night stand with an airport hookup . Wow, she wasn’t even thirty! This was supposed to be funny?   I had seen her act on a TV show and wasn’t amused with the plethora of four letter words that spewed from her mouth.   Other female comedians began to emulate her, apparently deciding they’d cash in on the slutty act that was making this unattractive woman an overnight sensation making millions of dollars.
To me, this represented feminism at it’s worst.   It’s fine for women to make equal pay, make choices about marriage and childbearing, but going into the gutter is never going to help the #Women’s Movement.  The funniest comedian of all time (IMO) was Jonathan Winters . Here was a truly funny man, and I don’t’ recall him ever bragging about his sex life.
What would women think of a man who boasted  of sleeping with so many women he couldn’t even remember their names?  Look at the #metoo movement, giving women a chance to complain about predatory, promiscuous  men.   It seems there’s now a double standard.  Women can sleep around and boast  about it, but men wouldn’t dare do the same thing if they value their career and reputation.
If women truly want equality, they should strive for dignity and respect.   Their personal life is their own business, but frankly, I don’t want to hear the salacious details. If you read my novels, TAKE THE MONEY and CHASING THEIR LOSSES, you will know  I’m not a prude.  I don’t shy away from intimate scenes, but I like to believe they are tastefully done, without resorting to gratuitous sex.

MEN, WOMEN AND BEAUTY

Young women today have certainly come a long way since the Women’s Movement of the 60’s.  They hold important jobs, receive equal pay, and don’t have to make a choice between family or a career.  They can travel far and wide and do wonderful things.  But there’s one place where women haven’t progressed at all.  In fact, they taken several steps backward as far the time and money  they must devote to their physical  appearance.  

 
When my husband and I are going to some public event, he merely has to shower and shave, throw on the same clothes he’s worn for  10  years,  and he’s good to go.  I, of course, must shower, curl my hair, find something stylish to wear (no bell bottoms, please) , and finally, apply the dreaded makeup. Then, there’s the fingernail and toenail polish, the earrings, the necklaces, the bracelets, the scarves.  I would guess women spend five times as much time and money on their appearance as men.  So, there’s the inequality.

50 years ago, a woman who wore black eyeliner, false eyelashes,  fake fingernails,  4 shades of eye shadow , rouge and dangling earrings  was probably in the theater or the world’s oldest profession.  Most everyone else wore a bit of foundation, possibly some eyebrow pencil, a dab of lipstick, and off they went. 


Nowadays, all you have to do is turn on the news to see how things have changed.  Look at  #CNN, ABC, or # Fox News. The females have perfect hair.  (How many hours must they spend with hairdressers?). They wear as much eyeliner and mascara as an Egyptian princess.  And of course, the eyelash extensions and trendy clothes are a must.   Their teeth are pearly white, their faces glitter and glow, and their skirts go up above their knees. The women on #PBS aren’t quite so made up and girly girl, but even there, the dangling earrings that catch the light during serious discussions are distracting.  Male newscasters don’t have to look glamorous.  They’re supposed to look serious, which they wouldn’t if they wore even half as much makeup  and revealing clothes  as their female counterparts.  And it bothers me that they’ve tried to tart up Sarah Huckabee.  I liked her just the way she was.
Women are  not equal as far as appearance is concerned. The cosmetics industry is growing more prosperous, and gentlemen still prefer painted ladies.