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BEFORE & AFTER PHOTOS THAT MAKE YOU CRY

 

Decluttering can be heartbreaking when you see those old photos from happier times.

Here are just a few examples:

Your first wedding (which ended in divorce).

Happy family pictures before the divorce changed everything.
The last holiday gathering with all of your children before the family feud
Your parents 50th wedding anniversary when your siblings were still alive.
The last time your children and stepchildren were all together.
The last time you were with your grandchildren before their parents divorced or  moved far away.
The last Christmas you spent with your first cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
You and your best friend, before she died of cancer.
I can think of many other pictures  that would bring even more tears.   A  beloved family member who later died a tragic death.  A loved one before she was diagnosed with dementia.  That list could go on and on.  The gut wrenching  thing about those before and after pictures, is that you had no idea  this would be the “last time,” when those photographs were taken.
After about an hour, we had to stop.  There was way too much  joy, love, heartbreak  and nostalgia  packed into those old albums.  Photographs that catch those last moments  of happiness before things went South take a lot out of  you.  Right now, I’m going for a walk in the park.  And yes, we saved all of those photos.

 

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DON’T CARE ABOUT FOOTBALL OR IF NFL PLAYERS KNEEL

This is going to scandalize some football fans, but I will have to admit that I have never, once, watched an entire football game from beginning to end.  Not even when I was in high school or college.  It may sound unbelievable, but it was never my thing, and it became even less appealing to me when we started hearing about all the dangerous concussions that damage the brains of football players.

When I attend my entertainment venues of choice —theater, movies, or concerts– I don’t expect to see the entire orchestra or cast come out before the show and put their hands on their hearts while listening to the national anthem.  It would seem absurd to mix politics with entertainment.   And, in defense or those players who chose to kneel—I can’t say I blame them for taking advantage of this unique opportunity to express their support for their less fortunate brother, uncles, cousins, and fathers.
My opinion will not affect attendance at the football games whatsoever, because my husband and I will never attend one in person.  He may watch a few games on television, but it won’t matter whether the players stand or kneel. Would I refuse to watch  a play or movie starring George Clooney or Clint Eastwood just because I disagree with their political viewpoints? No way!  Why would we expect an entire team to have the same political opinions?  You can go into any workplace or neighborhood, and you will seldom find everyone in agreement about Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. 

So, I would suggest that we discontinue playing the national anthem at football games.   After all, it’s just a game, not a political rally.

 

 

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3 DRUG FREE WAYS TO LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE

Remember when everyone thought it was okay if your blood pressure increased with age?   Well, that’s all changed now.  Here’s what the American Heart Association has to say:

 

“High blood pressure should be treated earlier with lifestyle changes and in some patients with medication – at 130/80 mm Hg rather than 140/90 – based on new American Heart Association (AHA) guidelines for the detection, prevention, management and treatment of high blood pressure .Nov 13, 2017”

Notice they’re recommending lifestyle changes as the best way to treat high blood pressure.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve been on blood pressure meds a couple of times, and the side effects started dragging me down within a few days.    So here’s the good news about that.  Recent studies  at UCLA have shown that you can lower your blood pressure in as little as three days to three weeks by doing three things:

1 Exercise
2. Decrease sodium intake
3. Increase potassium intake by consuming more fruits and vegetables

Apparently, you don’t need to exercise all that much—maybe a fifteen minute walk. The important thing is to do these things every day, and make them a part of your permanent lifestyle.

At lunchtime, try substituting a high sodium soup and sandwich with a high potassium fruit/yogurt smoothie

 Here’s an easy recipe, but you can use different high potassium fruits like oranges, apricots or mangoes. Mix in fresh and frozen fruits for an icy texture. And don’t forget, yogurt is also a great source of potassium

                                        Fantastic Fruit Smoothie

1/2 cup Greek yogurt
1/4 banana
Handful of blueberries
10 seedless grapes
1/3 cup fresh pineapple chunks

Put all ingredients in blender and puree until smooth.  Potassium: 600 mg.  Calories: 175

 

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SELF HELP WHEN YOU’RE FEELING BLUE

If you were around in the 50’s or 60’s, you might remember that popular ballad by one of the greatest vocalists of all time, Nat King Cole.

“Pretend You’re Happy When You’re Blue” lyrics went like this:

 Pretend you’re happy when you’re blue
It isn’t very hard to do
And you’ll find happiness without an end
Whenever you pretend
Remember anyone can dream
And nothing’s bad as it may seem
The little things you haven’t got
Could be a lot if you pretend
 

We all have “blue,” days.  Maybe you had a disagreement with a friend, got into a fender bender, or lost your purse.  Perhaps you’re sick and tired of hearing about Trump and feel like the world is falling apart. Whatever the reason, you haven’t slept well, and you wake up in the morning feeling down and out.  What to do?  Mope around all day? Overeat or feed some other  addiction like nicotine or alcohol?  No, just pretend you’re happy and act accordingly.

 

Smile. If it’s a nice day, put on a clean outfit and a pair of walking shoes, put one foot in front of the other, and take a walk through the park.  Watch the squirrels chase each other’s tails.  Listen to the birds singing.  Laugh as the geese stop traffic while nonchalantly walking across the road. Admire the flowers. Watch green tree leaves fluttering with the wind.  Feel the warm sunshine on your back. Keep going until you feel your mood lift. 

Come back home, fix a cup of tea.  Get up and go out with ordinary people, some of whom may be handicapped, yet still going on with their lives.  Retail therapy helps if you don’t go overboard.  Or maybe an hour in the reading room at the library.  Whatever lifts your spirit and makes you realize your troubles aren’t nearly as serious as you thought.

And if you sing this melody
You’ll be pretending just like me
The world is mine, it can be yours, my friend
So why don’t you pretend?

 

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THE HUMAN HEART CAN SURVIVE UNSPEAKABLE TRAGEDY

When I saw the first picture of Tia Coleman, the woman who lost nine family members on a duck boat accident in Missouri, my first thought was “how can she survive this terrible loss?” Most of us have experienced at least one or two serious losses, and somehow gone on with our lives.  But it’s hard to imagine anything worse than losing your husband and 3 children, plus five other relatives all at once.

Then, I remembered Betty Spencer, who was the sole survivor of the 1977 Valentine’s Day  home invasion and murders of her two sons and two stepsons by four men armed with sawed off shotguns . After being shot in the head, she lay still and pretended to be dead.  Betty was a patient at the Indiana hospital where I worked.  I don’t remember how long she was there, although I’m sure it was several weeks.  But I do remember seeing the nurses pushing her up and down the hallways in a wheelchair, day after day.  Pale and ghostly, Betty stared straight ahead, with vacant, unseeing eyes, never moving a muscle until they finally returned her to her room.  I never saw her stand , walk, eat, talk, or smile. At the time, I thought, “this woman will never survive.  She’ll probably have to be put in a nursing home.”  She later said that during that time, she was begging God to let her die.
And yet, four years later, she found the strength and courage to found the Parke County Victims’ Advocate Foundation , and became a national speaker on victims’ rights before her  death in  2004, “The Hollandsburg Murders taught me that I am not afraid to die,” she wrote in a February 1988 Bereavement magazine article,   “But more than that I have learned that I am not afraid to live!”
I have a feeling Tia Coleman will find a way to survive and I wish her Godspeed on the difficult journey ahead.

 

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HOW MALPRACTICE LAWSUITS RUINED MODERN HEALTHCARE

 

When I was a child, doctors made house calls, and it was wonderful to see old Doc Sullivan walking into my bedroom with his black bag if I was sick. If he was called, it was always something serious.  Like the first time, when I had blood poisoning at age 13, and penicillin was new on the market. He diagnosed my problem without a single blood test,  And he cured me. Next time, I was 21, told him about dark urine, and he accurately diagnosed hepatitis A. The treatment consisted simply of home bed rest and a high carbohydrate diet. Within a few weeks, I was perfectly well.  I wasn’t afraid of doctors then.

 

My latrophobia (fear of doctors)  started when I began having scary mammograms that turned out to be false alarms. Besides several call backs, and repeat mammograms, I had at least 4 biopsies.   Now, my blood pressure (which had always been low) would skyrocket each time I walked into a doctors office.  Naturally , I’d be put on meds that brought my blood pressure so low I  nearly fainted, because I didn’t have consistently high blood pressure to begin with.

   Always, my blood pressure zooms if I have to see a doctor.  My husband sees a lot of doctors (fortunately he doesn’t have latrophobia ) and it seems to me that they often  hit the alarm button over some little symptom.   As an example, one night we went to a 24 hour clinic for my husband’s dizziness, and the doctor suggested we go to the hospital for a brain scan.  Nope, didn’t go, and the dizziness was gone by morning. That was five years ago.  Overall. though, we can’t complain  because he has some serious health issues  and wouldn’t be alive if not for his doctors.

Obviously, the doctor – patient relationship changed when malpractice suits became so popular in the 70’s that they ruined some doctors’  reputations.   Last week I read that a couple of doctors are suing patients who gave them bad reviews on Yelp.  And many hospitals email you a survey after each doctor visit , asking your opinion of your doctor.  How could anyone evaluate a doctor based on one visit?
So now, doctors and patients are skittish unless they’ve known each other for a long time. New statistics show that doctors only listen to their patients for 11 seconds! Doctors are leery of new patients, so they order all kinds of expensive tests that scare the patient to death, because they want to defend themselves against a lawsuit in case something goes wrong.
Something very sacred has been lost.   My parents would never have dreamed of suing old Doc Sullivan, even if I had died from blood poisoning. They knew he was doing the very best he could, and that’s all that could be expected.  Modern medicine has come a long way, but sometimes, I wish we could go back to the old days.

 

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DECLUTTERING DIARY: DAY ONE

Okay, I’ve been putting this off for about ten years.  But it’s been so hot that it may as well be winter, when you’re stuck inside for days at a time.  What to do?  I can only spend so long reading books.  Then of course, there are the on-line games that get a bit tiresome after awhile.  Time to face the music and tackle the clutter.

 Here’s how it went:

First, all wires, old laptops, anything electronic, cameras, kindles, and instruction books that went with old printers, computers, cell phones, etc.  I had a drawer full of this stuff.  I mean, isn’t it smart to hang onto things you  might need someday? For example, two old laptops when you just bought a new one? No, I don’t think so.  It took about an hour to separate the wheat from the chaff here, and I ended up with a black garbage bag so heavy I could hardly lift it.  And that’s just one drawer!
Next, endless files of first, second and third drafts of my first novel, Take The Money: Romantic Suspense in Costa Rica, finally published in 2014 and still selling copies on Amazon, much to my amazement.  Ditto for 2nd novel, Chasing Their Losses.  Ditto for my husband’s memoir, APreacher Called Sinn.  Unfinished manuscripts of novels I gave up on.  Short stories I had published.  Stacks of how-to books about novel writing, editing, memoir writing, marketing, etc.  Rejection letters and letters of encouragement from literary agents and publishers.  Shoe boxes full of floppies and CD’s. This pile was so heavy that it took two more big black bags, because if it all went in one, it would be too heavy.
By late afternoon, I was worn out with decluttering.   But that was just the beginning.  In the coming days ahead  there were closets to clean, drawers full of old Tee shirts from every event I ever attended or country I visited.   Other drawers full of travel items like old toothbrush and soap holders.  Outdated cosmetics. Two sets of electric hot rollers from the long hair days, like maybe 25 years ago.  Why in the world did I save all that junk?  
 
Now, I’ve finished with solo decluttering. Next,  my husband must participate in our joint project of cleaning out the medicine cabinet, and then, the most daunting task of all: A basement full of memorabilia going back 40 years, shelves full of holiday decorations, old pictures, vases, pots,  and pans. My goal is to have all of this finished by November.
Working in a cool basement is fine now, but I don’t want to shiver in the furnace room come winter. During the dog days of summer, I would encourage all the hoarders out there to get busy decluttering.  If I can do it, anyone can! Read, DeCluttering Diary, Day 93 @  https://livingwellafter80.com