Our house is an anomaly in the modern world. because we don’t have a visible television set in our living room.  Or anywhere else downstairs, except for a small set in my husband’s office.  So, when children and  grandchildren stop by during the holidays, they’re in for a culture shock. What to do without television? Has TV replaced the hearth?

I remember gathering around my Grandfather’s hearth on Christmas Eve in rural Indiana.  It was a magical time with oil lamps and the fire place our only illumination.  If there was a lull in the conversation, we listened to the crackling of flames and stared into the fire until someone spoke again.

They say the television screen has replaced the fireplace in our modern world. But it’s not the same.  Let’s say you’re gathered around the television.  Someone begins a conversation, another picks up a fragment and begins to respond.  But then, their eyes are drawn to the television screen where there’s a football game going on.  If not a game, some type of news story or beer commercial.  The thread of  conversation is cut short.  There’s a lack of intimacy and connection.  When the visit is over, you feel frustrated—as if the visitors had never been there at all. You don’t know these people any better than you did before they came.

And of course, there’s always a smart phone in the hands of someone or other.  While two or three people get involved in a discussion,  someone else advertises their complete boredom by checking their email.

What do we talk about at our house?  How in the world do we get through a couple of hours without television?.   Well, basically, we do what people did for thousands  of years  when they gathered near the hearth .  We talk about problems we’ve had, and ask for advice.   Then we share what we know of relatives and mutual friends, about what’s going on in their lives.  Looking out the window, we comment on the squirrels and birds.  We ask about their cats and dogs. Commiserate about medical conditions and doctor visits. Swap recipes.  After awhile, the ball gets rolling.  If there’s a toddler or two around, we enjoy their antics.  Politics may be discussed, but carefully.  We know everyone doesn’t agree,   but we do voice an opinion or two.

If we’ve had a meal, we sit around the dining room table and talk.  If someone has just stopped by, we arrange chairs in a circle and  provide a few snacks and something to drink.

After our visitors leave, we feel satisfied . We’ve shared some laughs, and feel closer after some quality time together.  How do you visit without television?  What do you talk about??   Has TV replaced the hearth?  Not in a million years.