Do you always receive a thank you note expressing gratitude for the presents you send to your grandchildren?
If you listen to women at club meetings and bridge parties, you’re apt to hear a lot of grumbling on the subject. Conventional wisdom says you should stop sending gifts to anyone who doesn’t acknowledge receiving them. But hey, wait a minute. Between the two of us, my husband and I have nine grandchildren, Some write lovely thank you notes, some text or email, and a few of them say nothing at all. Are we supposed to stop sending birthday and Christmas checks to the ungrateful ones? We must conclude that those who don’t acknowledge gifts have not been well trained by their parents—who happen to be our very own children.
At our age, we never know when some medical disaster will strike. So, before that happens, we want each and every grandchild to know that we love them. Who knows what troubles they will experience as they struggle through school, work, marriage and raising children?. Perhaps, at some low moment, they will feel cheered to think they had a grandparent who cared enough to remember them on every single birthday and at Christmas time. As a matter of fact, I went to a funeral years ago, and the grandson who gave the eulogy mentioned that his grandmother always sent him a birthday card, even though he lived in Japan and only visited her once a year.
Some of our grandchildren live nearby, and we see them often. Naturally, we will form stronger bonds with the ones who live close than with those who are thousands of miles away. Then, too, there are issues like divorce or in-law problems that affect the way our grandchildren feel about us.
But as long as we are able, we’re going to keep sending those cards or checks to all of them.
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