Category: love

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A RARE SIGN OF LOVE

Remember that line  from the song Chicago?  “I saw a man, he danced with his wife.”  Yesterday, I saw a  man helping  his wife with her coat, and opening the door for her as they walked out of a restaurant. You don’t often see men doing things like that anymore. Chivalry is a rare sign of love.

They were a middle aged couple, both a bit overweight.  But the woman was attractive, with high heels, carefully groomed blonde hair, and stylish clothes.  She didn’t mind being treated with love and respect, and her husband obviously enjoyed treating her like a lady.  Is there something wrong with this picture? Apparently so.

Modern feminist researchers call this type of behavior “benevolent sexism.”  They say that treating a woman like this shows that he considers his wife weak, and in need of protection.  That doesn’t sound so bad to this old lady.  Even though women are just as smart as men, it’s a biological fact that they aren’t as physically strong..

MOST WOMEN APPRECIATE A MAN WHO TREATS THEM LIKE A LADY. VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!

Believe it or not, when I was dating in the 50’s and 60’s, you waited until a man came to your door to pick you up for a date.  You would have felt insulted if a guy asked you to meet him somewhere..  But now, in big cities, a woman is expected to meet her date,  and get there on her own.    Everyone is equal.

We go to brunch occasionally at a college hangout.  I have never seen a young man holding a door open for his date.  Typically, one of them has their head down looking at their smart phones as they come and go.   Supposedly, a young feminist would consider it a put down if a guy treated her like a lady.

On Valentine’s Day, I propose the return of romance in a relationship.  What in the world is wrong  with “vive la difference” as the French say?   I feel loved and cherished on a cold winter day when my husband backs the car out of the garage and warms it up for a few minutes before I climb inside.  I’m not sure a feminist would enjoy that, but I do.

Happy Valentine’s Day↑

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HOORAY FOR SCHOOL BUS DRIVERS!

Most of us try to avoid getting stuck in traffic behind a school bus.  It’s  annoying having to stop every time they do, and wait while the kids disembark.  My children walked to school in the good old days when it wasn’t considered child neglect, so I had never met a school bus driver until recently.  And now, I have a new respect for the brave souls who assume such awesome responsibility.  Hooray for School Bus Drivers!

My school bus driver is someone I met while doing water aerobics.  First, I must describe her appearance because she’s straight out of central casting.  A bit plump, bright blue eyes, rosy cheeks, short blond hair, and a a warm smile.   She loves to chat with everyone, regardless of their color or social status.

School Bus Drivers often face icy roads
SCHOOL BUS DRIVERS HAVE A HEAVY RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR CHILDREN

This morning, it was extremely cold outside, and I asked her how she felt about driving on icy roads.  She replied, ‘I go very,  very slow.”  She added that a bus is extremely heavy, and  doesn’t perform too well on ice.  It simply rolls, and you just have to hang on and hope it doesn’t  go off the road..    That’s when I realized what a tremendous responsibility these people have.  I think that the first time my school bus rolled into a ditch, I would turn in my badge.

In the locker room, we continued our conversation about her job.  She takes it very seriously.  “I’m the first person they see in the morning on their way to school, and the last person they see before they get home,” she said. “So I always greet them with a smile, and tell them goodbye as they leave.”   She paused a minute, and looked off into the distance.  “I really love my kids,” she said.  “And I’ll bet they love you ,too” I replied.  She looked pensive for a moment. “Yes,” she said. “they do.”   Knowing this lady, I’m sure she is loved by all the children, even the unruly ones.  She’s a strong woman, who probably has to intervene in many fights and endure a bit of back talk from time to time.  And yet, she loves her job.

Now, when I see a school bus, I imagine it’s my friend behind the wheel, and I no longer feel annoyed when I see the brake lights and the stop sign  drops from the side window.   It’s going to snow a lot next week in much of the United States , with  treacherous driving conditions.  I’ll be thinking about all these unsung heroes and heroines, and wishing them godspeed.

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LAST DAY FOR FREE KINDLE BOOK

This is the last day I’m offering a FREE KINDLE BOOK of my novel, TAKE THE MONEY: ROMANTIC  SUSPENSE IN COSTA RICA.

You  may wonder how an Indiana author decided to write a book about Costa Rica.  My inspiration came  the year after my husband and I retired and spent several months living in San Jose.  We had traveled through Europe and all over the United States by that time, but it seemed that Costa Rica had special charms we hadn’t found anywhere else.

When you think of Costa Rica,  you picture beaches and rain forests.  But in fact, Costa Rica is also known as “Little Switzerland” due to it’s verdant countryside and mountains.  The air is crisp and clear, the weather near perfect.  Visiting downtown San Jose , you hear numerous languages from all over the world.  Everyone loves Costa Rica.

fly away with me via Kindle to romantic Costa Rica
TAKE THE MONEY: ROMANTIC SUSPENSE IN COSTA RICA

Many Americans have permanent residences in Costa Rica.  We were tempted to move there, but realized how inconvenient it would be for our children if one of us got very sick.  Not to mention the legal hassles involved in passing away in a foreign country.  So, we came back home, and that’s when I enrolled in a creative writing class at Indiana State University, and began  writing Take The Money.

TAKE THE MONEY: ROMANTIC SUSPENSE IN COSTA RICA  is FREE today on Kindle @ http://amzn.to/1AgDW8a

Here’s a brief synopsis:

What would you do if you witnessed a murder and the victim gave you $60,000 just before he died? Should you keep the money or call the police? Julie Lawson has only moments to decide.

Julie goes for a drive in her boss’s new Porsche, but a joyride turns to terror when they’re rammed from behind and tumble into a ravine. Knowing he won’t survive, Kevin Dufrain urges Julie to take the money and run because, “they’ll get you, too.” She boards a night plane to the cosmopolitan city of San Jose, Costa Rica and meets mysterious businessman, Bud Jimenez, who helps her find a job at the “Memphis South,” a popular nightclub run by Texas beauty, Nellie Compton. When Julie discovers the killer has tracked her down, she heads for a beach near the Nicaraguan border.

Julie’s small plane is forced to land in a remote Indian Village where she meets the passionate and charismatic Dr. Enrique Rojas, a widower who runs a medical clinic for the impoverished natives of Costa Rica. Here, Julie thinks she’s found the secret thing she always wanted to do, but it may be too late. The killer is still on her trail and the DEA suspects her of drug trafficking. Her fragile hopes for happiness seem about to shatter. Now, Julie must lose herself to discover what’s really important in life.

Take the Money is a compelling tale full of passion and courage. It takes you from a corrupt, inbred, southern Indiana town to the mountains, beaches, volcanoes, waterfalls, rain forests, and all of the fabulous natural wonders of beautiful Costa Rica.

Take The Money: Romantic Suspense in Costa Rica is FREE on KINDLE Jan 2, 3, 4. @ http://amzn.to/1AgDW8a

Enjoy!

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TWAS THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings that hung by the chimney were bare, and the whole family was sound asleep, exhausted,  not quite ready to face the post holiday clean up.

We are grateful for another Christmas
Santa is tired, but he’s happy he was able to handle another Christmas.

Holiday eggnog, cookies, rich gravy, and  a calorie overload have us afraid to step on the scale, not to mention the need for some antacid to calm an iffy stomach.

Then, there is the prospect of the returns.  Sweaters that don’t fit.  Duplicate presents.  In our case, an enormous walker that was ordered in the wrong size.  That was a tough one, since it wouldn’t fit back in the box it came in this morning.  Guess I’ll have to run out to UPS and beg for their help.

But then, we settle down with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. We sit back and think about all the family gatherings, the joy of seeing the smile of that first great grandchild,  the meals we were still able to host  in our own home.  Christmas afternoon:  skyping or talking on the phone with far away grandchildren.  Hearing their sweet young voices.  Thankful that they are all healthy and well.  And so, we decide it was a pretty good Christmas, after all.

At our age  , we realize how fortunate we are to have been around for another Christmas.  In spite of the inconveniences of old age—the creaky bones, hearing aids, failing eyesight, and  a plethora of prescription drugs,  we look to the future with optimism.

We’re not ready to take down the Christmas decorations just yet.  In fact we may leave them up for another week or so, as we enjoy all our gift boxes of goodies and other thoughtful presents from the people we love.

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GRATITUDE, GRANDCHILDREN & THANK YOU NOTES

Do you always receive a thank you note expressing gratitude for the presents you send to your grandchildren?

A HANDWRITTEN THANK YOU IS A SPECIAL TREAT
MANY CHILDREN TODAY ARE MORE APT TO TEXT A THANK YOU, RATHER THAN WRITE A NOTE
If you listen to women at club meetings and bridge parties, you’re apt to hear a lot of grumbling on the subject.  Conventional wisdom says you should stop sending gifts to anyone who doesn’t acknowledge receiving them.  But hey, wait a minute.   Between the two of us, my husband and I have nine grandchildren,  Some write lovely thank you notes, some text or email, and a few of them say nothing at all.  Are we supposed to stop sending birthday and Christmas checks to the ungrateful ones?  We must conclude that those who don’t acknowledge gifts have not been well trained by their parents—who happen to be our very own children.
  
At our age, we never know when some medical disaster will strike.  So, before that happens, we want each and every grandchild to know that we love  them.  Who knows what troubles they will experience  as they struggle through school, work, marriage and raising children?.  Perhaps, at some low moment, they will feel cheered to think they had a grandparent who cared enough to remember them on every single birthday and at Christmas time.   As a matter of fact, I went to a funeral  years ago, and the grandson who gave the eulogy mentioned that his grandmother always sent him a birthday card, even though he lived in Japan and only visited her once a year.

Some of our grandchildren live nearby, and we see them often.  Naturally, we will form stronger bonds with the ones who live close than with those who are thousands of miles away.  Then, too, there are issues like divorce or in-law problems that affect the way our grandchildren feel about us. 

But as long as we are able, we’re going to keep sending those cards or  checks to all of them.

 

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DO’S AND DON’TS OF HUGGING

Hugging someone you barely know or care about seems to have become commonplace in today’s culture.  As a person coming of age in the fifties, I can tell you we didn’t used to do much hugging except with a little kid, a close relative, or a friend who had suffered some kind of painful loss, like the death of a loved one.  Of course, we hugged our boyfriends, but that was usually leading up to something more intimate.

Maybe it started in the late sixties, when hippies were advocating we make love, not war.  I’m not sure. The first time I witnessed group hugging was when my teenage son came home from a church camp, and when I went to pick him up,  all the boys and girls were  going around the parking lot and  hugging each other.  We didn’t do that when we came home from girl scout camp.  So, I knew the times, they were a changing.

Now, there’s even a National Hugger Day in January.

I pretty much tried to adapt and fit into the hugging trend.  I didn’t initiate hugs, but then again, I didn’t resist them.  But I finally drew the line when I took a water aerobics class and encountered a serial hugger.  This lady apparently hoped to a recruit new members  to her particular denomination by  zigzaging  through the water, approaching unsuspecting women, and embracing them while whispering biblical quotations in their ear.  I think some needy women enjoyed that, but I really wasn’t too keen on hugging a sweaty, clammy stranger.  I kept trying to dodge her and hide behind other women, but when  she continued to stalk me with a big smile and outstretched arms, I finally backed away, finding some pretext of doing something else.  She finally got the message and left me alone.  But when we ended up back in  the locker room after class, she usually gave me a dirty look.
So, if hugging is your thing, and all your friends do it, that’s fine with me, but just remember that some people like a little more space.

 

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FORGIVENESS & THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

The other day, I had a mind slip.  Thinking about a roof leak, I distractedly moved forward out of turn at a 4 way stop sign. A second later, realizing what I had done,  I cringed with remorse, waiting for a loud blast from the other driver’s horn, at the very least. But he simply waited for me to go on, and didn’t even roll down his car window and yell at me.  Such an incident might have triggered an act of road rage in a big city, but fortunately, my fellow driver was a kindly person, who perhaps realized I’d had a temporary brain freeze.

On another occasion, I approached a checkout lane at the Dollar Store with some products on the conveyor belt, but no customer in sight. Since I had just 3 items, and my husband was waiting in the car, I proceeded toward the cashier. But just as I was checking out, the missing person came up behind me, and loudly berated me for not waiting while she went to the back of the store for a forgotten item.

One person was kind and forgiving, the other wasn’t.  I can tell you that even though the manager came over and apologized, the bad karma generated by this woman’s vitriolic attack left me in an all day funk.  For hours,  I chastised myself for my inconsiderate action, until my husband finally convinced me it was just a simple mix up, and there was no reason for me to feel so guilty.
But the kindly person who forgave my stupidity at the stop sign actually made my day.  If I met him, I might learn that he volunteers at a soup kitchen or acts as a caregiver for his ailing wife.
Other simple acts of kindness make the world seem a better place—when I’m lost in an unfamiliar town, the stranger at a gas station who goes out of his way to lead me to my destination.  The little child who runs up behind me in a parking lot  to tell me I dropped my credit card. 
 
Whether it’s forgiving a stranger for a mistake, or going out of your way to help a fellow human being,  the kindness of strangers  offers a ray of hope for a return to civility,  instead of the vicious rhetoric dividing our nation today.