Once upon a time, ordinary people aspired to comport themselves with dignity,  as  ladies and gentlemen.  Hopefully, that has not changed in the real world.  But there was no class, whatsoever, in the Michelle Wolf speech at the Washington Correspondent’s Dinner in DC on April 28, where she brutally insulted the current

During WWII, the only source of live news was the radio.  The newspapers were a day late, and the newsreels at the movie theaters were probably a week late.   Listening to the nightly news drew the family together as though sitting before a fireplace.  We trusted that news reporters were telling the truth.   Journalists were expected to report the news as it occurred, not as filtered by their own biases. And, comedians like Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Fibber McGee and Molly were actually funny, with no need to use four letter words.  

Now it’s fashionable for  trashy women to stand up and use vulgar language in order to please certain journalists.  It just shows how divided we are in this country.   I think if Michelle Wolf had made that mean spirited speech in Flyover Country, either  someone would have deadened the microphone or the entire audience would have walked out of the room.  Here in middle America we don’t cotton to bullying, trash talk, name calling, and obscenity  in our journalists, no matter which political party they favor.

Sadly,  women like Kathy Griffin and Michelle Wolf are actually hurting the women’s movement. Women  want equal opportunity and equal representation in elected offices. They also want respect No one respects women who are Rude, Crude, and Lewd.  If this comedian from Canada is supposed to represent modern women,  God help us all.  

Almost  every adult has been through at least one mammogram scare.  This affects not only women, but the men in their lives who love them and share the worry.

Here’s how it works: you calmly go in for what is called a routine mammogram.  Let’s say you have no family history of breast cancer,  you’re relatively young, so you’re not really worried about the results.  Then, the next day, you get that scary call that there’s something not quite right and you need to come in for another test. This might be on a Friday afternoon.  So now, you must get through a miserable weekend, worrying about the  results.  Then, even if you go back on a Monday, it may be Tuesday before you are given an all clear diagnosis, because of course, a very busy radiologist must read every x-ray.  And if a needle biopsy is recommended, the wait and worry can go on for another week.

And now, you’re always going to be stressed out before your next mammogram. Talk to any group of women willing to share their thoughts, and they’ll  tell you that once they’ve had a “bad” mammogram, they’re nervous wrecks days before and after they have their next one. Also, the more needle biopsies you have, the more likely there’s scar tissue or calcium deposits that will trigger another abnormal finding. And many times, the patient learns that a mere wrinkle in their skin caused the concern. 

Modern technology has done a better job of screening, with equipment that’s reduced the dreaded call backs by approximately 40%.  But that leaves the other 60% going through way too many false alarms.  Consequently, many women decide to stop having mammograms at all.  Surely, the system could be improved, so that the waiting time is never more than 24 hours when there’s a problem with your mammogram.

Dental implants are popular to upgrade your smile, but some people go too far.  Perfectly formed and obviously fake white teeth can be a bit startling in an aging person , calling attention to the lines around their mouth. 

By the time I graduated from college, I had a “skunk” streak of white hair.  Often, I was asked if I had paint in my hair, but more often someone would say something like “you have white hair” as if I didn’t know .  I got so tired of the comments that I started “dyeing” my hair as soon as I got away from home.  My mother thought no lady would ever dye her hair, and that’s what they called it back then.  It was thought to be a bit trashy.  When it finally became fashionable to “color” your hair, I had already been doing it for 30 years.

Weight control is another problem, because the body needs fewer and fewer calories as we age.  But does it really matter that much if you’re slightly overweight?  Medical studies have shown that it’s healthy for the elderly to have a few extra pounds to get them through any ailments.  Some older women still work diligently to weigh what they did in their 20’s, but it doesn’t do a lot for their face.  A little padding helps smooth out the wrinkles.

By the time you’re a lady of eighty, you aren’t particularly vain about your looks.  You’re more interested in getting a hearing aid that works.  Eventually, you take a look in the mirror and say to yourself, “this is as good as it gets.”  What a relief.

If you’re looking for comic relief in the nation’s toxic political environment, you need look no further than the dialogue between James Comey and Donald Trump. 

I must admit I’m impressed with Comey’s euphemisms in describing Trump’s character.  Instead of calling Trump a fraud, he says he’s “untethered from the truth.”  He believes Trump lacks an “external moral framework,” but never comes out and calls him an adulterer and a thief.  Very lawyerly, indeed. You can’t be sued for libel and defamation of character with those high brow comments.  A few years ago, I ran across  “moral compass”  in a book,  and liked that term  so much that I used it to complain to a real estate company about one of their agents who had lied to us about the condition of the apartment we rented, yet refused to give us a refund.  I didn’t call the guy a liar and a thief, and I never got my money back, but the person in question was soon out of a job.

Then we have Trump’s unrestrained name calling in response to these carefully worded opinions.  Comey is a “liar, loser, weakling, slimeball, and a leaker.”  Whatever pops into Trumps’s  head comes out of his mouth like a playground bully.

But of course, beneath every comedy is an undercurrent of tragedy, and in this case, I believe the entire episode is harmful to all the citizens of this country, no matter who they voted for.   The issues of war and peace shouldn’t be in the hands of a couple of clowns.

One of benefits of  turning eighty is that you seldom feel envious anymore. Half the people you once envied are dead, and those who are still around are hanging on for dear life, coping with arthritis, glaucoma, and other physical ailments. Everyone has kids who have turned out with varying degrees of success or failure. And money doesn’t mean much if you’re in a wheelchair or in such poor health that you can’t go anywhere, except maybe to church or an afternoon matinee.

When you’re young, you don’t realize that an envious person can make your life miserable. They can pretend to be your friend, and run you down behind your back. This is even worse if they’re  colleagues, because it can affect your career.   You keep trying to make them like you, but it won’t work, because you have something they wish they had—whether it be good looks, a happy home, a higher salary or talent.  There are a zillion ways to attract envy.

 

Walked through  the local mall today for the first time since Macy’s closed their doors.  The south end of the parking lot is empty and the halls are eerily quiet.

Once upon a time, big city department stores seemed like a magical dreamland to this hick from Purdue who graduated  college to work in  Chicago.  I took an entry level  job in an advertising agency only one block away from Marshall Field’s.  Heaven!  I could barely make my rent, and certainly couldn’t afford their clothes, but it was fun to enter those revolving doors , look up into the vaulted ceilings,  smell the exotic fragrances, and see the latest fashions, Then, I’d get out my sewing machine and copy those expensive dresses as best I could.

A few years later, I landed a job that sent me on a trip  to New York City.  Couldn’t wait to get to Macy’s. It seemed years ahead of Marshall Field’s, and the epitome of  sophistication.

Then, fate knocked me around for a few years.  I got a divorce and landed back in the ingrown, Southern Indiana hometown I’d always wanted to escape.   But I got a good job which I needed to support three kids, so I was stuck in River City. Then,  lo and behold, Macy’s came to Indiana, and that made me feel as if a part of my old life had returned.  I wasn’t stuck in the boonies; I could shop at Macy’s!  

The  fun  of department store shopping has gone the way of the internet, and now, with Macy’s gone, retail therapy is never going to be the same. Farewell, Macy’s, and thanks for the memories.