The other day, I was playing cards and mostly losing.  Usually, such a dry run leaves me a bit down. But on that particular day it didn’t bother me at all.  Why? Because I was looking forward to a fun event,   and the game seemed unimportant. We probably get upset about losing because it threatens our self concept of a competent,  intelligent human being. But on that day, I was feeling so good about life that it didn’t matter. So, does losing really suck?

Competition is ingrained in our DNA, and part of what makes us human.  We are always trying to improve ourselves and our life, and when we win, it’s natural to feel uplifted.   But if you must win at any cost, and it ruins your day to lose, then the stakes of the game are way too high. Most players are uncomfortable around hyper competitive people who are determined to win, no matter what.   Sore losers are often rigid and unforgiving of themselves and others.  An excessively competitive person may spend so much effort to succeed that they neglect other parts of their life, which can lead to burnout and isolation

Then there are the sore winners who –by definition–gloat and high five over a victory..    Although most of us are annoyed by sore winners, we should actually feel sorry for them , because they  are showing signs of fragile self esteem.

Physical or mental games aren’t  just about coming out on top.  They’re a pleasant way to pass the time and socialize with friends. If others win while you’re losing,  think of how good they feel.  Congratulate them on their skill or good luck. Whether you win or lose isn’t nearly  as important as being with friends and celebrating their successes.

Playing games also helps ward off depression.  When you’re concentrating on winning a trick or hitting the ball,  you’re forgetting about your job, family troubles, and financial problems.    Don’t let the  fear of losing keep you from entering the competition.