SHOULD YOU CALL, EMAIL OR TEXT?

For the first few decades of my life, the only means of remote communication with another person was by telephone or snail mail. As a teen, I spent hours talking on the phone with boyfriends and girlfriends. What about? With the girls, it was usually about boys. With the boys, a lot of gossip and complaining about parents. When we left town for college or work, we wrote letters. It was sometimes difficult writing a letter in cursive, but a joy to receive. However, both of those options for connecting with others are almost obsolete. First, email replaced phone calls, and now texting has replaced e mail. Consequently, the choices are complicated for seniors. Should you call call, email or text family , friends, and business people?

Most people my age refuse to text. My husband says arthritis makes texting impossible, but I suspect he wouldn’t do it anyway. When you ask a person why they dislike phone calls, they’re liable to admit it’s because they consider themselves introverts. I can understand that. I used to experience social anxiety when talking on the phone to a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Or, as a suburban housewife, calling someone and asking them to dinner. What if I couldn’t think what to say, or they didn’t seem friendly? Sometimes, my voice sounded too high or low to my own ears. If only I’d had the luxury of choice.

I chose e mail as soon as I learned to use a computer. Didn’t have to worry about sounding awkward or strained. Could go back over my e mail before hitting send. It’s still a pretty smooth way to connect if you really have something to ask, or explain. And you aren’t bothering people with a phone call at a busy time. Trouble is, people started getting so much spam email that they missed reading personal e mails. Most people under 60 now seem to prefer texting. I resisted it for years. And then, one day, the whole texting thing kicked into my psyche.

Texting is cool. I love sending and receiving pictures that I don’t want to put out on Facebook. With the pic collage app, I can send pretty, personal greeting cards. The uses are endless. You don’t have to make awkward conversation, or spend precious time composing e mails. If you’re a senior who thinks texting is too complicated, you will find that it simplifies your life. And helps extroverts keep in touch with introverts who don’t like talking on the telephone.

May 24, 2021May 24, 2021

FINALLY, AFTER SIXTY SUNDAYS

Before the pandemic hit, my husband took me out every Sunday for brunch. It didn’t seem like anything that spectacular—just a way to make the day a bit more special, and relieve me of having to cook a meal. And then the covid-19 pandemic gripped the nation. At first, we weren’t too worried here in the Heartland. Only one or two new cases a day. And then it began to skyrocket. Hundreds of cases, numerous deaths in what we had considered our safe little city. The Sunday brunches we had taken for granted came to a grinding halt. And now, finally, after sixty Sundays of frying bacon & eggs, fixing toast, peeling oranges, making hot chocolate– my days of fixing Sunday brunch at home had ended. Hallelujah!

And yet, as I was preparing to get dressed, I was surprised to feel a bit of social anxiety. What should I wear? There were clothes hanging in my closet from two summers ago, that I hadn’t worn since. During that last, lost summer, I wore nothing but old jeans and shorts and t shirts. After all, I was wearing a mask. No one would recognize me at the supermarket. . There was no point in wearing makeup, or caring about my appearance at all. Now, I was going out in public, barefaced. . It gave me a bit a stage fright.

Surprisingly, my old pants and tops still fit. I’ve gained a pound or two, but not enough to bump me up a size. That was a big relief. But was my summer apparel outdated? Were people still wearing culottes? I finally decided on an outfit that hadn’t been worn since the summer of 2019. Consequently, looking at myself in the mirror surprised me. I looked okay. When we were ready to leave, my husband and I eyed one another with approval. It had been a very long time since we had been that “dressed up.”

Finally, after sixty Sundays, we were able to eat at a restaurant without wearing a mak — Finally, after sixty Sundays, we seniors could go to a restaurant without wearing a mask.

The restaurant was nearly full, and few customer’s wore masks. The wait staff was still masked, and I felt sorry for them, knowing how hot and sweaty they feel after an hour or so. Otherwise, things seemed pretty normal. There were no surprising new fashions to make me feel out of date. People were dressed much the same as they had sixty Sundays ago. Men in shirts and shorts, women in slacks and sundresses. Little kids so excited that they could barely finish their meals. As we walked out the door, a wave of contentment washed over me. Finally, after sixty Sundays, things were getting back to normal.

December 28, 2020December 28, 2020

ANXIOUSLY ZOOMING INTO CYBERSPACE

People have been Skyping for years, but, I wasn’t too keen on it. Then, my children guilted me into thinking I really ought to connect with my faraway grandchildren. Still, I shied away from the idea, citing my lack of tech savvy. But when my daughter sent me a webcam, I knew the jig was up. I had no excuse to avoid my Skype anxiety. Seeing myself on webcam for the first time was a shock. My dark distorted image resembled a horror movie monster. Someone said it was all about the lighting. That helped a bit. But I still found it awkward making conversation in such an unnatural setting. The covid-19 pandemic exacerbated the problem, because we couldn’t have a family get together. That’s when , I found myself anxiously zooming into cyberspace.

If you’re reading this blog, you probably know the difference between Skype and Zoom. But, just in case, I’ll explain the difference. With Skype, you’re just connecting with one place. There may be more people in the room, but basically, it’s a one-on-one situation. With Zoom, You’re in a video conference with 3 or 4 people, all in different places. On Christmas day I found Zoom to be a pleasanter experience. With more than one person participating, there’s less performance anxiety. It felt as though my three kids and I were sitting around in a living room, just like in the old days. Conversation felt natural, and unstrained.

anxiously zooming into cyberspace. Zoom fatigue is causing anxiety during the pandemic. — During the pandemic, many are anxiously zooming into cyberspace. Zoom anxiety is real..

Not surprisingly, many younger people have Zoom anxiety, especially when it comes to meetings associated with their work. It freaks them out to see all those people looking at them. Worse yet, is the unflattering sight of their own panicked face. They find themselves feeling sweaty and tongue tied. The problem is so prevalent that Psychology Today has offered 3 tips on how to deal with it.

If you’re interested in zooming, all you’ll need is : A phone or computer; a webcam; speakers, a microphone, and of course, an internet connection. If You don’t need to have a Zoom account., most adults in the workforce already have one.

In my case, my daughter e mailed me an invitation to join her meeting. I clicked on the link, downloaded Zoom, used the passcode provided, and voila! I had zoomed into cyberspace. Not too bad for an octogenarian!