Have you noticed all the new people at your fitness center or aquatic class? It looks like a lot of folks decided to get in shape this year. Great! Glad to see them. But there are lots of other New Year’s resolutions that don’t involve losing weight. Quit drinking alcohol. Cut down on video games. Call home every week. Stop smoking. Take French lessons. The list goes on and on. And they’re mostly about stopping or starting something. But statistics indicate that most of those resolutions are abandoned by January 18. Good Intentions often go astray.

Why do people give up so easily? They wanted to do something to improve their lives or happiness. And yet, they lacked the to follow through on their good intentions. Now, they feel a little bit disappointed in themselves. The truth is, they probably would have wound up in a much better frame of mind if only they’d had a little more of that good old stick- to-it-iveness.

GOOD INTENTIONS OFTEN GO ASTRAY. By the end of Jan, most have given up — Good Intentions Often Go Astray. Most New Years’ Resolutions are given up by January 18.

The strategies for stopping or starting a habit are completely different. Psychologists tend to focus on the stop issue, because the undesirable habit often involves some type of addiction, which is difficult to overcome. There are long lists of suggestions : join a support group, avoid triggers, etc. etc. Alcoholics should not go places where they serve beer, or keep it in their frig. Smokers should not have a pack of cigarettes in their purse or hang out with other smokers. But the truth is, most addictions are a reaction to stress and anxiety, and it’s hard to quit a bad job or stop worrying about your rebellious teenager.

Starting a new habit calls for an entirely different set of mental muscles. You go to the gym for one class and then never go back. Why? It was too much trouble changing clothes. Walking a treadmill is boring. Whatever. You signed up for French lessons and you couldn’t even speak a whole sentence after the first class. It’s way too challenging and when are you going to Paris, anyway? But what if you hadn’t given up so easily? By summer, you might not mind putting on a bathing suit. Or, you could decide to vacation on the French Rivera instead of going to Vegas.

However, there’s one approach that works for both kinds of resolutions : Mindfulness meditation. I know, it sounds kind of new age and hokey. But it works. And it’s really quite simple. Before you decide to re start a bad habit lean back in your chair and take a few, cleansing deep breaths. Next, acknowledge and accept your feelings, without judgement.” I really need that fix from nicotine or alcohol because I’m feeling stressed about my …job…marriage….. I can feel it in my bones.” Stop, breathe some more. The stressful situation won’t last forever. You can do this. More deep breaths. The urge has come and gone

Use the same technique if you’re tempted to quit the new, desirable behavior. Deep breaths. Walking the treadmill is boring. Going to the gym is too much trouble. I’m not seeing any immediate results. Breathe in, breath out. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You know you will feel much better after a few workouts. Keep going.

Getting started with mindfulness is simple in this high tech world of ours. There are apps like Calm which can be downloaded for free or for a small fee. Mindfulness meditation should be your best New Years resolution. Good intentions often go astray. Don’t let that happen in this Happy New Year of 2023.

It probably happens to everyone: a series of mishaps in a short period of time that overwhelms your nervous system. I’m not talking about a car crash, house fire, or tornado. Those are major events with life changing outcomes. But sometimes, it’s a bunch of little things that drive you to the brink. Managing a mini meltdown with the help of alternative therapies such as mindfulness, meditation and tai chi can help.

MANAGING A MINI MELTDOWN with deep breathing.

MANAGING A MINI MELTDOW WITH DEEP BREATHING AND MEDITATION.

But still, it was a tough weekend for me. Friday was the first anniversary of the death of a loved one.. Heading into the weekend, my husband’s fragile health condition took a turn for the worse, and we had to decide whether he should call the doctor. (Who isn’t available on weekends) The next afternoon, I lost my credit card at the grocery store. Later that day, had an unexpected visitor who we really didn’t want to see. When the mail came, I found two letters chiding me for overdue payments that I had already made through online banking.

And to top it all off, the 2022 election has turned out to be a nail biter. . I can remember when we knew the winners of all races on election night. Now, the counting goes on for weeks, with thousands of mysterious mail in ballots cropping up from out of nowhere to turn everything around. And when the person running for governor in Arizona is also in charge of the election, you lose faith in the entire electoral process. It’s disturbing to realize that our nation could be run by people who weren’t elected legitimately.

By Sunday night, my stomach was churning and I wondered how I could even fix dinner. Turned out I didn’t have to, because my husband only wanted a fruit smoothie, which suited me just fine. Then, I sat in the recliner, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Mindfulness has taught me to accept my feelings, thoughts, and body sensations, without being overwhelmed by them. Concentrated on my breathing, meditated, then did some tai chi.

Breathe in. breathe out. My husband made it through the weekend without having to go to the ER. More deep breaths. The people who sent the deadbeat letters admitted they hadn’t gotten around to posting payments for over a month . Feeling calmer, Put my credit card on hold. Think I’ll become one of those little old ladies who write checks at the grocery store. Went swimming on Monday, and felt the gloom begin to lift. I can’t control the election process, so we’ll have to live with whatever happens.

The next time you have a mini meltdown, remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. With the help of meditation, mindfulness, controlled breathing, and other calming techniques, you can mange to come out on the other side. .