Have you noticed all the new people at your fitness center or aquatic class?  It looks like a lot of folks decided to  get in shape this year.   Great!  Glad to see them.  But there are lots of other New Year’s resolutions that don’t involve losing weight.  Quit drinking alcohol.   Cut down on video games.   Call home every week.  Stop smoking. Take French lessons.   The list goes on and on.  And they’re mostly about stopping or starting something.   But statistics indicate that most of those resolutions are abandoned by January 18. Good Intentions often go astray.

Why do people give up so easily?  They wanted to do something to improve their lives or happiness. And yet, they lacked the to follow through on their good intentions.  Now, they feel a little bit disappointed in themselves.  The truth is, they probably would have wound  up in a much better frame of mind if only they’d had a little more of that good old stick- to-it-iveness.

The strategies for stopping or starting a habit are completely different.  Psychologists tend to focus on the stop issue, because the undesirable habit often involves some type of addiction, which is difficult to overcome.  There are long lists of suggestions :  join a support group, avoid triggers, etc. etc.  Alcoholics should not go places where they serve beer, or keep it in their frig.  Smokers should not have a pack of cigarettes in their purse or hang out with other smokers.  But the truth is, most addictions are a reaction to stress and anxiety, and it’s hard to quit a bad job or stop worrying about your rebellious  teenager.

Starting a new habit calls for an entirely different set of mental muscles.  You go to the gym for one class and then never go back.  Why?  It was too much trouble changing clothes.  Walking a treadmill is boring. Whatever.  You signed up for French lessons and you couldn’t even speak a whole sentence after the first class.  It’s way too challenging and when are you going to Paris, anyway?  But what if you hadn’t given up so easily?  By summer, you might not mind putting on a bathing suit.  Or, you could decide to vacation on the French Rivera instead of going to Vegas.

However, there’s one approach that works for both kinds of resolutions :  Mindfulness meditation. I  know, it sounds kind of new age and hokey.  But it works.  And it’s really quite simple.  Before you decide to re start a bad habit lean back in your chair and take a few, cleansing deep breaths.  Next, acknowledge and accept your feelings, without judgement.”  I  really need that fix from nicotine or alcohol because I’m feeling stressed about my …job…marriage….. I can feel it in my  bones.”  Stop, breathe some more.  The stressful situation won’t last forever.  You can do this.  More deep  breaths.  The urge has come and gone

Use the same technique if you’re tempted to quit the new, desirable behavior.  Deep breaths.   Walking the treadmill is boring.  Going to the gym is  too much trouble.  I’m  not seeing any immediate results.  Breathe in, breath out.    Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. You know you will feel much better after a few workouts.    Keep going.

Getting started with mindfulness is simple  in this high tech world of ours.  There are apps like Calm which can be downloaded for free or for a small fee.  Mindfulness meditation should be your best New Years resolution.  Good intentions often go astray.   Don’t let that happen in this Happy New Year of 2023.