Anyone who has followed my blog for awhile knows that I don’t like football. I attended a Big Ten school, and stayed in my room during all the home games. What I know about football could fit in a thimble. How much I care about football could barely fill an eye dropper. And yet, I am interested in the human beings who risk their health and sanity to perform in this game. That is why I believe that booing Andrew Luck after his resignation from the NFL was wrong..

While not categorized as such, I’ve always seen football as a blood sport. No, carnage isn’t officially the point of the game, but it certainly involves a lot of mental and physical pain for the “gladiators” in helmets and cleats. What is the mentality of spectators who enjoy watching men suffer? I’ll leave that to psychiatrists and other mental health experts to explain.

Andrew Luck's retirement made many fans angry — Why should fans be angry with Andrew Luck for wanting a normal life?

The morning papers here in Indiana were full of stories about Andrew Luck’s startling, unexpected early retirement. Some writers blasted him for his “disloyalty,” and the poor timing of his announcement just before the season starts. Others defended his right to live his own life. No one questioned the fact that he had suffered multiple injuries throughout his short and spectacular career.

What did the angry fans want? What if he had decided to become a drug addict in order to deal with his pain? What if he suffered a concussion or injury that left him paralyzed for life? Would that have satisfied the bloodthirsty fans?

Yes, the timing was bad. But who can know what is in another person’s heart? Perhaps he planned to work through the pain, but woke up one day and knew he couldn’t take it anymore. It may have taken more courage to retire than to take a slew of opioids and go on. Certainly, he willingly gave up millions of dollars in future income in favor of leading a normal life.

Luck and his wife, Nicole, were married in March, and expecting their first baby soon. I wish them happiness in the years to come, and applaud his decision to chose family over fame and fortune.

Last year’s shooting of the newspaper staff in Annapolis got me thinking about the downside of holding a grudge. I doubt if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t feel some resentment over a long ago insult or perceived wrong. How long can you hold a grudge?

I held a secret grudge for many years against a young man whom I overheard jeering, and saying I was “crazy” at a teenage party. This was right after my older sister had a mental breakdown that required hospitalization. His words were like a razor across my heart. There was a huge stigma surrounding mental illness in those days (still is). His taunts reinforced the assumption that I was “tarred with the same brush” as my sister, as the saying goes. Thank God there was no Facebook, or I might have been bullied into suicide. Soon after, I went away to college and started a new life in Chicago upon graduation.

Fast forward: twenty years later. I’m back in my hometown with a new job, and I’m seeing this guy at public events and social gatherings more often than I would like. At first, I managed to avoid him. But then I would see him again, and the knot in my stomach told me I was still holding a grudge for that long ago incident. It was not pleasant; I hadn’t felt that way for a long time, so I took another look at this man, and realized he wasn’t really a monster, just an ordinary guy fighting serious health problems and a failing business. He had probably forgotten making such cruel remarks, and hopefully, he had matured enough that he would not do it again.

Then I remembered the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “Hate is too great a burden to bear, so I chose love.” I won’t say I began to love my former detractor, but carrying a grudge was too great a burden for me to bear, so I let it go.

The scary thing about grudges is that they become a self defeating obsession. https://medium.com/productivity-revolution/6-reasons-why-holding-grudges-makes-you-unhappy-7e2198de26fe In the case of the Annapolis shooter, he preferred killing 5 people and living the rest of his life in prison, to letting go of that grudge.

Tag: mental health

Why Booing Andrew Luck Was Wrong

HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD A GRUDGE?

Last year’s shooting of the newspaper staff in Annapolis got me thinking about the downside of holding a grudge. I doubt if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t feel some resentment over a long ago insult or perceived wrong. How long can you hold a grudge?

Then I remembered the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “Hate is too great a burden to bear, so I chose love.” I won’t say I began to love my former detractor, but carrying a grudge was too great a burden for me to bear, so I let it go.