DID YOU DODGE A BULLET?

It happens to everyone, sooner or later. Someone or something lets you down, dashes your hopes and dreams. You may get over it quickly, after a long while, or not at all. But the truth is, when things don’t turn out the way we expect, it’s often a blessing in disguise. Did you dodge a bullet yesterday, last month, or years ago?

The first example that comes to mind is a failed relationship. Someone you love, decides that they don’t love you. It may happen gradually, over years. Or you’re totally blindsided. One moment you’re happy and content , the next minute you’re getting dumped. Unless you got married right out of high school, you’ve probably experienced at least one episode like this. And yet, when it’s finally over, and you’ve gone on with your life, you realize the person wasn’t right for you at all.

Here’s how the urban dictionary defines Dodged a Bullet: “When you come close to dating a person but for whatever reason it falls through, and then later find out that person is batshit crazy, you’ve dodged a bullet..

Ok, the person wasn’t crazy, so that doesn’t apply. . But you may look back and realize you actually had nothing much in common, or the one you loved was emotionally abusive. It may take a long time, but you finally realize it would never have worked out well.

The next big downer is getting turned down for a job. When you’ve written a great resume, and sat through a seemingly positive interview, you’re confident you’ll be offered a position.

And then, you hear nothing back. Or you receive a tersely written letter that they’re sorry to inform you—you didn’t get the job. And they don’t even leave the door open, asking you to keep on applying. This is almost more of a blow to your self esteem than the failed relationship. What did you say or do wrong? Was there spinach on your teeth? Doggedly, you keep trying, not getting your hopes up again after the next interview. And all of a sudden, you land a dream job with a great organization. After you’ve settled down, you look back and feel immensely grateful that you got turned down after that first job interview. . It wasn’t about you—it was on them. Their loss. Ha Ha.

Did a business deal fall through? Someone stand you up for an important meeting? Miss a plane that ended up six hours on the tarmac? . The next time you’re feeling upset about a rejection or missed opportunity, remember this: You may have dodged a bullet.

January 15, 2021January 15, 2021

KIDS HELP ELDERS GET VACCINE

It was an amazing, long anticipated day– entering the clinic parking lot to finally get the Covid-19 vaccine. But as we pulled in, I noticed a car where a young guy sat behind the wheel. His appearance worried me a bit—partly shaved head, piercings and metal coming out of every orifice. While waiting for my husband to get out of the car, I saw a dark sedan pull up. As an elderly couple opened their door , the young man got out and headed their way. An alarm went off in my head. Was he going to mug them? But no, he held out his arms for them to lean on, and slowly walked them inside. It’s touching to see kids help their elders get the vaccine.

Inside, everything was highly organized and efficient. Since we had preregistered, there was no wait. But after getting vaccinated, we had to wait awhile to make sure we had no reaction. That’s when I could observe the patients coming in. This was the over 80 crowd, and at least half of them were accompanied by what appeared to be a child or grandchild. It’s safe to say that the kids were the ones who had gotten their parents or grandparents signed up.

You couldn’t just walk in to get vaccinated. You had to be in the “eligible” category (over 80) and provide your insurance card. Then, you could register for an appointment either over the phone or online. The phone lines were jammed all day long, so the best way to get an appointment was online. I’m lucky to know my way around the internet. That’s because I had a job that entailed the use of computers. Many octogenarians wouldn’t have the slightest idea. So I’m guessing the metal kid got his grandparents registered online.

kids help elders get vaccine. Hooray for these young caregivers. — Kids help elders get vaccine. It’s heartwarming to see children take care of their parents.

There were sons with fathers on canes or in wheel chairs. And daughters who brought their parents to check in. Love was in the air. Lucky, my husband and I can still navigate on our own. But It was heartwarming to see so many children taking the time to get their parents or grandparents vaccinated. Hooray for family caregivers, and kids who help their elders get the vaccine.

February 13, 2019February 15, 2019

A RARE SIGN OF LOVE

Remember that line from the song Chicago? “I saw a man, he danced with his wife.” Yesterday, I saw a man helping his wife with her coat, and opening the door for her as they walked out of a restaurant. You don’t often see men doing things like that anymore. Chivalry is a rare sign of love.

They were a middle aged couple, both a bit overweight. But the woman was attractive, with high heels, carefully groomed blonde hair, and stylish clothes. She didn’t mind being treated with love and respect, and her husband obviously enjoyed treating her like a lady. Is there something wrong with this picture? Apparently so.

Modern feminist researchers call this type of behavior “benevolent sexism.” They say that treating a woman like this shows that he considers his wife weak, and in need of protection. That doesn’t sound so bad to this old lady. Even though women are just as smart as men, it’s a biological fact that they aren’t as physically strong..

MOST WOMEN APPRECIATE A MAN WHO TREATS THEM LIKE A LADY. VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!

Believe it or not, when I was dating in the 50’s and 60’s, you waited until a man came to your door to pick you up for a date. You would have felt insulted if a guy asked you to meet him somewhere.. But now, in big cities, a woman is expected to meet her date, and get there on her own. Everyone is equal.

We go to brunch occasionally at a college hangout. I have never seen a young man holding a door open for his date. Typically, one of them has their head down looking at their smart phones as they come and go. Supposedly, a young feminist would consider it a put down if a guy treated her like a lady.

On Valentine’s Day, I propose the return of romance in a relationship. What in the world is wrong with “vive la difference” as the French say? I feel loved and cherished on a cold winter day when my husband backs the car out of the garage and warms it up for a few minutes before I climb inside. I’m not sure a feminist would enjoy that, but I do.

Happy Valentine’s Day↑

December 12, 2018December 12, 2018

WHAT IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE HOLIDAYS?

What I’m about to say will probably mark me as a female Scrooge out of Dickens. I’m not talking about holiday blues and depression –that’s another issue altogether. But what if you don’t like the holidays?

What’s not to like? First , it’s become a worn out season that goes on way too long. They start putting out Christmas decorations the day after Halloween. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, I’m sick of looking at plastic poinsettias and blow up Santas. How many other national holidays are celebrated for two months?

THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE TIRING — SOME OF US DON’T LIKE ALL THE GORGING AND GIFTING AND GLITTER

Ditto for Christmas music. A little bit goes a long way. I love some of the religious songs , but if I hear Silent Night one more time while I’m driving, I’m going to fall asleep at the wheel. And how many times can you hear jingle bells before the very sound of them grates on your nerves.? Again, what if they started broadcasting America the Beautiful and other summer holiday songs in April?

I don’t like giving and receiving expensive presents. My very best memories of Christmas gifting was in the era when they still had dime stores. The four kids in our family were each given fifty cents to spend at the dime store for mom, dad, and the other 3 siblings. There were some amazing gifts, there. Perfume and hankies for the parents. A little doll or truck for a sister or brother. And then, the fun of wrapping each gift in pretty paper, carefully tying it with a name tag,, and putting it under the tree on Christmas eve.. Just enough time for us to hold “our” presents up to the ear, and shake and rattle them. What were they? Perfume? Bath powder? A doll? A set of jacks? (that’s a game kids played if they didn’t have much money ).

I don’t like holiday parties when people drink too much and say things they later regret. It’s even happened to me a few times in my younger days. Nothing like New Year’s day remorse.

But most importantly, I don’t like the way the entire holiday hoopla depends on women. It wasn’t too bad when the dad worked and the moms stayed at home. But most women work nowadays, and yet they are the ones who are responsible for everyone’s holiday happiness. Or sure, the guys may decorate the house and put up a tree, but that’s a one day deal. They don’t have to cook and bake, clean up the house and produce memorable, extraordinary holiday meals. They don’t plan the parties and fix the snacks.. They aren’t the ones making gift lists and frantically shopping for everyone’s heart desire. They don’t have to worry about teacher’s presents and school gift exchanges. The list of what women are expected to do at Christmas is endless.

When I was a hospital department manager, I wasn’t required to work on Christmas day, but I usually took my turn with the rest of the supervisors. There was something very special about visiting the sick on Christmas Day. It satisfied that spiritual hunger I had felt all season. Spending time with patients wasn’t about gorging and gifting and glitter. It was about peace, love, and giving comfort. Wasn’t that what the original Christmas was supposed to be about?