SOPHIA LOREN’S STRANGE EYE MAKEUP

When you make it past eighty, you start comparing yourself to famous people who are also octogenarians.  There are lots of aging glamour girls like Jane Fonda, who make us feel like we’re not keeping up as we should.  Another famous  beauty apparently wowed everyone at the Governors Award Ball in Los Angeles. I guess she looked okay from a distance.  But Sophia Loren’s strange eyelash extensions and cat-like eyeliner only made her look worse, not better.

Too much dark eye makeup is aging on an octogenarian
Too much eye makeup on Sophia Loren makes her look worse, not better.

There’s a point in every woman’s life when she has to face the fact:  less is more. Heavy dark eye makeup only draws attention to wrinkles and aging skin.  By the time a lady enters her eighth decade, all the cosmetic surgery in the world can’t make her  look 20 again. A trip to Palm Springs always amazes me.  There, you see aging  California celebrities  proudly walking  around with misshaped faces,  duck lips, and padded cheekbones. And of course, eyelash extensions are a must.

Cosmetic surgery on  an aging face may make someone look younger, but definitely not better. The same goes for too much makeup—especially around the eyes.  In this case, all the eyeliner and lash extensions made Sophia Loren look like she was at a Halloween party. I hope older women don’t start trying to emulate her.   Debra Winger, who is aging so beautifully, has bemoaned the “face lift epidemic” in the United States.  We loved her in “Urban  Cowboy, “ and she’s still beautiful in “The Ranch.” But you’ll never see Debra with the  “raccoon eyes,” that make anyone past 70 look older.

Sophia Loren’s  eyelash extensions and signature  cat- like eyeliner may have wowed them  in Hollywood.   But here in the Heartland, she would have simply looked strange.

JENNIFER ANISTON’S SHOCKING ELBOWS

Elbows are a body part I’ve never given much thought. But then, Google decided to send me a pop up  photo of Jennifer Aniston’ s rear view  as she walked down the street.  OMG!  A shocking photo of this eternally beautiful woman reveals her wrinkly elbows. It seems she’s pretty concerned about it-even going so far as to massage them with special creams.    

Most of us see wrinkles on our faces and eyelids.  We see what childbirth has done to our tummies.    And if you are rich  or vain enough, you may consider  a face  lift, eye  lift, or tummy  tuck.–especially if your significant other has a wandering eye.

Even if your have a facelift and tummy tuck, wrinkled elbows show your age
Jennifer Aniston is seriously concerned about her wrinkled elbows

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons,  the average costs for these procedures are:  Face lift,  $7,448, Tummy Tuck,  $6,253, Eye Lift, $3,163. Those are physician’s fees and don’t include anesthesia or operating room factors. .  Assuming you’re in the business of looking young and beautiful, you might think those surgeries  would do the job.  But not if  you’ve overlooked  your hinge joints.  

You’re not really through with your back-to-youth makeover until you’ve tightened up your  wrinkled elbows and maybe your knees.   Physician’s fee  for an elbow  lift is  about $3800.

Apparently, models and celebrities have tricks for hiding  their elbow wrinkles.  They’ve learned to bend their arms just slightly so the camera doesn’t pick up on that age defining part of their anatomy.

The thought of wrinkled hinges has begun to  fascinate me. All of a sudden, I’m looking at women’s elbows instead of their faces. For the first time, I held up a mirror to observe my elbows,  and it was obvious they had some mileage on them. However, I’m not about to spend thousands of dollars  on an unpleasant and risky surgical procedure.  It seems simpler to wear long sleeves for special occasions.

I’m sure that some of my  contemporaries have visited the local beauty bar for botox injections and face peels.  And many have come back from mysterious trips to California with puffier lips and skin pulled taut over their  cheekbones.  But if  they haven’t done anything about their wrinkled elbows,  their age is still showing. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.