AMAZON LURES THE SHOPPING DEPRIVED

Have you ever bought a jigsaw puzzle online? Before Covid-19, we didn’t even own one. But my husband found them a great way to pass the time while staying at home. Trouble was, the local stores were out of all the good ones. So we turned to Amazon. Buying a puzzle by mail order is fraught with hazard. There are sometimes missing pieces—which you don’t discover until you’ve spent about a week struggling to put the thing together. When this happened, we decided to get a refund. Printed out a return label. To our surprise, it said we had to take it to Kohl’s drop off station for shipping return. This seemed very strange, until I finally figured it out. Beware: Amazon lures the shopping deprived..

Amazon and Kohls has formed a partnershipd — Kohls will pack and ship Amazon returns for free. Amazon lures the shopping deprived.

I thought Kohl’s and Amazon were competitors. After all, online shopping is robbing retailers of much needed traffic. But these two retailers teamed up last year for what seemed like a win-win situation. Kohl’s would pack and ship returns for Amazon for free. This would bring traffic to Kohl’s.

I know I’ve been making fun of people who shop for clothes during the pandemic. Why do you need anything new when you have nowhere to go? But I’d forgotten the siren call of retail therapy. When I stepped inside Kohl’s I felt a surge of joy. The brightly lit cosmetic counter. Colorful new summer fashions. Sale signs everywhere. As I made my way back to the Amazon kiosk, temptation overcame me. My senses pulsed with desire. No, I did not need new tops and shorts. Not at all. But I knew what was going to happen, and I didn’t have the strength to stop it.

Like a starving refugee, I darted from counter to counter, filling my arms with merchandise. My face mask was getting hot, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t leave until I had used the 25% discount coupon that I received at the Amazon drop off station. When I got home with my packages, my husband had a good laugh. I had fallen for their trap. Amazon lures the shopping deprived.

June 5, 2020June 5, 2020

HOW HAVE YOU CHANGED?

Have you ever been on a retreat? When I attended parochial school years ago, we were often scheduled to go on retreat. This meant maybe 3 days of silence and prayer. You didn’t talk to your friends. kept your mouth shut, studied the bible, listened to sermons, and prayed. The purpose was to renew your faith, and refocus your life. Covid-19 has sent almost all of us on another kind of retreat. Away from the world you’ve known and the life you’ve always lived, you may end up with a new set of values. How Have You Changed during your Stay-At-Home Days?

Most everyone with a steady job enjoyed the extra sleep when working from home. You’d forgotten how much better you feel when not sleep deprived. Now, instead of staying up late watching TV, working on a project, or partying, you may strive to get at least seven hours sleep each night.

Staying at home during covid-19 has been a retreat. How Have You changed — How Have You changed while staying at home?

Improved hygiene. Did everyone wash their hands as often as they do now? I suspect that long after we return to normal life, we will have changed our hand washing habits. Which will lead to less sickness and fewer colds in the winter.

The pleasure of home cooked meals. . Yes, you’re tired of all the cooking, but you’ve probably tried some new recipes and gained confidence in your own culinary skills.

Finding out what you really don’t like. As an example, you’ve played competitive bridge for years. You thought you couldn’t live with out those endless bridge games . Surprisingly, you find you don’t miss them at all: The self blaming when you bid wrong or reneged. The mean spirited competition. No more sleepless nights going over a botched play, or a bad score. When the quarantine is over, you may decide to play less bridge, , and find other ways to entertain yourself. Like reading, or spending more time outside.

Hair styles. Most of us had routine hair appointments, wore the same style, and applied the same color for years. . You’ve almost forgotten your natural color, and it might surprise you to see that you really like it. Or you can try out a different color. You may find that you look better with longer hair, too. Many of us will look entirely different when we finally venture out into society.

How have you changed these past few months? Have you found the real you?

June 1, 2020June 1, 2020

HELP! ILLINOIS INVADING INDIANA

Coronavirus cases started out pretty slow in our city. Back in March and April, we were seeing just a few each day. Now, since we’ve started reopening, it’s escalating rapidly, with about 12 new cases per day. Why us? We’re just a small college town, and all the students have been sent home. But we’re a border city, and lots of folks are crossing the state line to shop here. Help! Illinois is invading Indiana.

Illinois residents have been flocking to our Indiana City — Our city parking lots are full of Illinois license plates. Help! Illinois is invading Indiana.

On the front page of our local paper yesterday, we saw a picture of a man who had driven 100 miles from Illinois just to get a haircut and beard trim. I can understand him not wanting to look like a cave man, but does he not own a pair of scissors? I’ve been trimming my husbands beard and hair for the past few months. No, it doesn’t look exactly professional, but it’s really not bad, either. And as he says, “no one is going to see me, anyway.” Except our kids who drop by to chat outside. And they really don’t care, as long as we’re safe.

Not far away is a small shopping mall and parking lot. Many of the cars parked outside since it opened have Illinois plates. Why would anyone drive 30 or 40 miles to buy a pile of clothes, when they have no place to wear them?

On to the supermarket. Observe the paprking lot at Meijers, and you’ll see at least 20% of the vehicles have Illinois plates. You can buy more than groceries at this store, and people are loading everything in their carts from underwear to ice cream.

Illinois has three times more cases of Covid-19 than Indiana. Is it possible that our next door neighbors are bringing the virus into our stores and places of business? Help! Illinois is invading Indiana

Maybe we should put up a border wall.

May 29, 2020May 29, 2020

BLACK MASKS LOOK SCARY & UNCLEAN

The little black dress is still the epitome of fashion in sophisticated circles. Is that why black masks have become popular during this pandemic? Mike Pence and Joe Biden both wear them. Black seems to be the “in” color for politicians’ masks in Washington DC. But I think they’re making a mistake. Black masks actually look scary and unclean.

Black cloth masks look scary & unclean. You can't tell if they've been washed, and they seem sinister. — Black masks look scary and unclean. But politicians seem to prefer them.

Scary? You bet. There’s something ominous and frightening about black masks. They remind me of Muslim Women who are forced to wear hijabs and cover their faces. The most common monastic color is black. It symbolizes repentance and simplicity. By wearing black, monks and nuns are trying to suppress the calls of the flesh. Sounds a little dreary and sexless, to me.

Black has also been a sign of mourning ever since the middle ages. Over the centuries, its been associated with death, evil, and violence. Maybe that’s why it’s the popular color for masks during the covid-19 crisis. But it’s also sinister and pessimistic. Why not a brightly colored or flowered mask, to suggest optimism, and perhaps a light at the end of the tunnel?

On the other hand color psychologist say that a preference for the color black indicates prestige and power; someone who wears black takes themselves seriously. I suppose they think black masks are simply more dignified.

There’s a reason why hospital employees and health care workers wear light colored scrubs and masks. It’s because they look clean. If a black cloth mask is soiled, you can’t tell by looking. If doesn’t really matter if a mask is dirty, because it still keeps the wearer’s infectious coughs and sneezes from spreading through the air. On the other hand, it could infect the owner, or anyone in his household. A child who picks up a dirty mask to play with could be at risk for catching a disease.

Maybe men prefer black because they think it looks more masculine. But to me, black masks look scary and unsanitary.

May 27, 2020May 27, 2020

THE RETURN OF THE KITCHEN STOOL

Does your back sometimes ache when you’re standing in the kitchen? If not, you’re either very young or lucky. Most middle aged women have a touch of arthritis or a back out of kilter. If you had been a housewife in earlier times, you might not have had that problem. Old fashioned sinks were free standing. That left plenty of room underneath for your knees if you sat on a stool. But modern kitchen sinks are always enclosed in a cabinet. You don’t sit at them. You stand. And then your back begins to ache. Especially now, when you’re cooking more at home during covid-19. It’s time for the return of the kitchen stool.

In the olden days, housewives sat comfortably at their kitchen sink. — Women used to sit while doing food prep . It’s time for a return to the kitchen sink.

I used to think my mother was the only one who used a kitchen stool because of her arthritis. But when I told my husband about my mom’s stool, he said, his mom had one too. Back in Nebraska, all the farm women he knew sat on stools while working at the sink. I think they knew something that modern kitchen designers have overlooked. Standing at a sink can be hard on the back.

The old fashioned kitchen stool was metal, with a rounded back. Last week, I finally decided I couldn’t take it any more. I was tired of back aches while fixing dinner. It was time to go back in time, and get myself a kitchen stool.. Because of social distancing during the covid pandemic, we couldn’t afford to shop around. On the way back from the cemetery on Monday, we stopped at Menards.

When I asked where I could find a kitchen stool, I got some blank looks. They suggested I look for bar stools in the kitchen section. No, they did not have any retro stools like my mother used to have. (you can get them on Amazon). But they did have some wooden bar stools that might help. We picked it up, took it home, and my handy husband managed to get it assembled. No, it doesn’t work like the ones in the old days because there’s no place to tuck in my knees under the sink. . But the stool is there for me to stop and rest a minute while doing food prep and clean up.

If your back has begun to ache while in the kitchen, you might think about getting a stool. Kitchen designers, take note! Leave some knee room under the sink. And bring back the kitchen stool.

May 22, 2020May 22, 2020

BEWARE OF CHAOS AT UPS

Why didn’t I realize UPS would be a zoo? Because of the pandemic, everyone’s buying all their stuff online, then returning half of it. In this case, my finger slipped on the keypad when ordering a jigsaw puzzle. Or maybe it was Amazon’s mistake. At any rate, we received two of the same puzzle. Since we couldn’t think of anyone who would want it, returning it seemed like the best move. I printed out a return label and drove to the store. It is usually a very quiet, uncrowded place, but not now. Beware of chaos at the UPS Store.

The only store in our city is five miles away. It’s an extremely small office, dark, with low ceilings. Remember, we’re supposed to avoid small, crowded, enclosed places now, right? Anyway, I drove into the parking lot and stopped to put on my mask and gloves. Looking in the window, I could see two people with stacks of packages to be processed by one clerk. I guess these were “pick up” items. I didn’t know about scheduling a pick up, but I do now. There were several people standing in line for the other clerk. It looked like I was in for a long wait.

Many customers not wearing masks at UPS store. Beware of chaos. — UPS clerks wear masks, but many customers don’t. Beware of chaos at the UPS Store.

I picked up the puzzle and Amazon return paperwork, and stood outside the door, thinking it would be safer to wait in the fresh air. I’d no sooner got there, when two younger people got out of their cars and proceeded to open the door. “I’m waiting in a line, here,” I said. Neither of them were masked. They glanced at me briefly, brushed past . and went on in.

Okay, I was mad. I took a few deep breaths to control my rage, but it wasn’t having the desired effect. Two things seemed very wrong here. #1 They weren’t wearing masks. Inside, both clerks were masked. Did these people not respect the health and safety of the UPS employees? #2 They had pushed ahead of me, taking advantage of the fact that I was social distancing. Now, it was even more crowded inside.

At that point, another woman got out of her car. She looked at me and said, ‘I forgot my mask.” Went back to her car, returned, and stood at a safe distance behind me to wait her turn. Well, at least there are some decent people in the world.

As the two offenders left the store after completing their business, I went into crabby old lady mode. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” I said. But they weren’t. Not in the least.

What goes through the mind of the unmasked during this coronavirus pandemic? Do they think they’re immune because they are younger? If so, they should look at the demographics on the department of health website. The majority of cases in our state of Indiana are with people age 20 to 60. Worse yet, do they not care that they could be infecting their fellow human beings? Don’t they have any respect for the store clerks who are risking their own health to serve them every day?

Beware of chaos at the UPS store.

May 20, 2020May 20, 2020

Pelosi body shames Trump

As a dietitian, I had to agree with Nancy Pelosi when she went on TV saying that Trump is overweight. But is she qualified to say he’s “morbidly obese?” That’s the term for a medical condition, and I don’t think she has a license to practice. Anyway, I thought that body shaming was verboten in our modern society. Popular magazines like “People,” frequently interview overweight celebrities who describe the trauma when they were teased about their weight. Peloisi hit below the belt( as my Mother used to say) when body shaming Trump. Has he mentioned how many face lifts and botox treatments she’s had?

I suspect no one feels sorry for Trump, because he’s brought it on himself. He’s a master at putting down his critics with childish nicknames like “Crooked Hillary,” “Sleepy Joe.” Anyone who disagrees with him is fair game. But I never thought Nancy Pelosi would get caught up in the madness.

She gleefully celebrated his impeachment, but still tried to appear somewhat dignified. She’s always taken the stance of moral superiority when it comes to Trump. Why, then, would she stoop to his level? 70% of Americans are either overweight or obese. I’m wondering how those voters will react to a privileged, California Congresswoman body shaming the president during the covid-19 outbreak.

I never knew much about Trump until he ran for president, so I don’t know when his weight got out of control. He should probably hire a nutritionist to plan his menus. But he’d probably fire her after a week. She would undoubtedly cancel the hamburger and fries. Would he go for a fruit smoothie or grilled chicken salad for lunch? I doubt it. On the other hand, he looks and acts very healthy. (Hopefully the Hydroxychloroquine he’s taking won’t give him a heart attack.) It probably helps that he doesn’t drink or smoke. Apparently, he gets plenty of exercise on the golf course. Maybe it’s just his metabolism. Or perhaps he’s a “stress eater.” If so, he’s had plenty of stressful triggers.

Meanwhile, there are other obese people running their countries. Like England’s Boris Johnson & North Korea’s Kim Jong Um. In fact, I think Winston Churchill was kind of chubby. Most of us are acquainted with “heavies,” who are capable and sharp. She’ll probably never admit it, but I think Nancy Pelosi is going to regret body shaming Trump. I just wish that both of them would act like grown-ups.