MANAGING A MINI MELTDOWN

It probably happens to everyone: a series of mishaps in a short period of time that overwhelms your nervous system. I’m not talking about a car crash, house fire, or tornado. Those are major events with life changing outcomes. But sometimes, it’s a bunch of little things that drive you to the brink. Managing a mini meltdown with the help of alternative therapies such as mindfulness, meditation and tai chi can help.

But still, it was a tough weekend for me. Friday was the first anniversary of the death of a loved one.. Heading into the weekend, my husband’s fragile health condition took a turn for the worse, and we had to decide whether he should call the doctor. (Who isn’t available on weekends) The next afternoon, I lost my credit card at the grocery store. Later that day, had an unexpected visitor who we really didn’t want to see. When the mail came, I found two letters chiding me for overdue payments that I had already made through online banking.

And to top it all off, the 2022 election has turned out to be a nail biter. . I can remember when we knew the winners of all races on election night. Now, the counting goes on for weeks, with thousands of mysterious mail in ballots cropping up from out of nowhere to turn everything around. And when the person running for governor in Arizona is also in charge of the election, you lose faith in the entire electoral process. It’s disturbing to realize that our nation could be run by people who weren’t elected legitimately.

By Sunday night, my stomach was churning and I wondered how I could even fix dinner. Turned out I didn’t have to, because my husband only wanted a fruit smoothie, which suited me just fine. Then, I sat in the recliner, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Mindfulness has taught me to accept my feelings, thoughts, and body sensations, without being overwhelmed by them. Concentrated on my breathing, meditated, then did some tai chi.

Breathe in. breathe out. My husband made it through the weekend without having to go to the ER. More deep breaths. The people who sent the deadbeat letters admitted they hadn’t gotten around to posting payments for over a month . Feeling calmer, Put my credit card on hold. Think I’ll become one of those little old ladies who write checks at the grocery store. Went swimming on Monday, and felt the gloom begin to lift. I can’t control the election process, so we’ll have to live with whatever happens.

The next time you have a mini meltdown, remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. With the help of meditation, mindfulness, controlled breathing, and other calming techniques, you can mange to come out on the other side. .

January 15, 2021January 15, 2021

KIDS HELP ELDERS GET VACCINE

It was an amazing, long anticipated day– entering the clinic parking lot to finally get the Covid-19 vaccine. But as we pulled in, I noticed a car where a young guy sat behind the wheel. His appearance worried me a bit—partly shaved head, piercings and metal coming out of every orifice. While waiting for my husband to get out of the car, I saw a dark sedan pull up. As an elderly couple opened their door , the young man got out and headed their way. An alarm went off in my head. Was he going to mug them? But no, he held out his arms for them to lean on, and slowly walked them inside. It’s touching to see kids help their elders get the vaccine.

Inside, everything was highly organized and efficient. Since we had preregistered, there was no wait. But after getting vaccinated, we had to wait awhile to make sure we had no reaction. That’s when I could observe the patients coming in. This was the over 80 crowd, and at least half of them were accompanied by what appeared to be a child or grandchild. It’s safe to say that the kids were the ones who had gotten their parents or grandparents signed up.

You couldn’t just walk in to get vaccinated. You had to be in the “eligible” category (over 80) and provide your insurance card. Then, you could register for an appointment either over the phone or online. The phone lines were jammed all day long, so the best way to get an appointment was online. I’m lucky to know my way around the internet. That’s because I had a job that entailed the use of computers. Many octogenarians wouldn’t have the slightest idea. So I’m guessing the metal kid got his grandparents registered online.

kids help elders get vaccine. Hooray for these young caregivers. — Kids help elders get vaccine. It’s heartwarming to see children take care of their parents.

There were sons with fathers on canes or in wheel chairs. And daughters who brought their parents to check in. Love was in the air. Lucky, my husband and I can still navigate on our own. But It was heartwarming to see so many children taking the time to get their parents or grandparents vaccinated. Hooray for family caregivers, and kids who help their elders get the vaccine.

September 14, 2020September 14, 2020

UNPAID CAREGIVERS ARE UNSUNG HEROES

During this pandemic, city parks have provided much needed relief from enforced isolation. Every shelter is occupied on holidays and weekends, and the roads are heavy with traffic slowly navigating around joggers and walkers. Also, we’re suddenly seeing more caregivers of disabled children or aging parents. Did you know that approximately 43.5 million caregivers have provided unpaid care to an adult or child in the last 12 months? Unless you are a caregiver, you may not realize what a difficult task these people are performing. Unpaid caregivers are unsung heroes.

There are varying degrees of caregiving, but all of them require patience and empathy. Aging parents may require just a bit of help with shopping and household tasks. But a sick or disabled child or spouse often requires full time commitment. Lately, at the park, I’ve seen many more children in wheelchairs with missing limbs or other handicaps. . My heart goes out to the parents who so lovingly devote their lives to the care of their children. Where do caregivers get their strength? I guess it’s the power of love.

Caregiving can be a lonely business, leading to caregiver burnout. Often, it falls on one person in a family. Other relatives and friends go about their lives without much regard for the day to day efforts required to take care of a disabled or handicapped person. When you’re the only one who can shop, cook, clean and run errands while taking care of a person’s needs, you often feel worn out and forgotten. What’s worse is seeing a loved one through episodes of pain or suffering with no one around to comfort them but you.

Unfortunately, caregiving is highly stressful and hazardous to the health. Thirty percent of caregivers die before the people they care for do. A 2003 study of caregivers by a research team at Ohio State University discovered a significant deterioration in the health of caregivers when compared to a similar group of non-caregivers. Even more disturbing is the fact that caregivers had a 63 percent higher death rate than the control group. Before the end of the 6-year study, 70 percent of the caregivers died and had to be replaced.

What can we do to help caregivers? If they’re strangers we encounter in public places, perhaps all we can do is open a door, or give a smile of encouragement. It get’s a little more complicated if they are family or friends. The last thing a caregiver wants is advice or implied criticism. What they really need is your emotional support and appreciation. A phone call or visit means a lot. Just let them know they’re not alone in all of this.

Unpaid caregivers are unsung heroes.