MANAGING A MINI MELTDOWN

It probably happens to everyone: a series of mishaps in a short period of time that overwhelms your nervous system. I’m not talking about a car crash, house fire, or tornado. Those are major events with life changing outcomes. But sometimes, it’s a bunch of little things that drive you to the brink. Managing a mini meltdown with the help of alternative therapies such as mindfulness, meditation and tai chi can help.

But still, it was a tough weekend for me. Friday was the first anniversary of the death of a loved one.. Heading into the weekend, my husband’s fragile health condition took a turn for the worse, and we had to decide whether he should call the doctor. (Who isn’t available on weekends) The next afternoon, I lost my credit card at the grocery store. Later that day, had an unexpected visitor who we really didn’t want to see. When the mail came, I found two letters chiding me for overdue payments that I had already made through online banking.

And to top it all off, the 2022 election has turned out to be a nail biter. . I can remember when we knew the winners of all races on election night. Now, the counting goes on for weeks, with thousands of mysterious mail in ballots cropping up from out of nowhere to turn everything around. And when the person running for governor in Arizona is also in charge of the election, you lose faith in the entire electoral process. It’s disturbing to realize that our nation could be run by people who weren’t elected legitimately.

By Sunday night, my stomach was churning and I wondered how I could even fix dinner. Turned out I didn’t have to, because my husband only wanted a fruit smoothie, which suited me just fine. Then, I sat in the recliner, closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths. Mindfulness has taught me to accept my feelings, thoughts, and body sensations, without being overwhelmed by them. Concentrated on my breathing, meditated, then did some tai chi.

Breathe in. breathe out. My husband made it through the weekend without having to go to the ER. More deep breaths. The people who sent the deadbeat letters admitted they hadn’t gotten around to posting payments for over a month . Feeling calmer, Put my credit card on hold. Think I’ll become one of those little old ladies who write checks at the grocery store. Went swimming on Monday, and felt the gloom begin to lift. I can’t control the election process, so we’ll have to live with whatever happens.

The next time you have a mini meltdown, remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. With the help of meditation, mindfulness, controlled breathing, and other calming techniques, you can mange to come out on the other side. .

December 28, 2020December 28, 2020

ANXIOUSLY ZOOMING INTO CYBERSPACE

People have been Skyping for years, but, I wasn’t too keen on it. Then, my children guilted me into thinking I really ought to connect with my faraway grandchildren. Still, I shied away from the idea, citing my lack of tech savvy. But when my daughter sent me a webcam, I knew the jig was up. I had no excuse to avoid my Skype anxiety. Seeing myself on webcam for the first time was a shock. My dark distorted image resembled a horror movie monster. Someone said it was all about the lighting. That helped a bit. But I still found it awkward making conversation in such an unnatural setting. The covid-19 pandemic exacerbated the problem, because we couldn’t have a family get together. That’s when , I found myself anxiously zooming into cyberspace.

If you’re reading this blog, you probably know the difference between Skype and Zoom. But, just in case, I’ll explain the difference. With Skype, you’re just connecting with one place. There may be more people in the room, but basically, it’s a one-on-one situation. With Zoom, You’re in a video conference with 3 or 4 people, all in different places. On Christmas day I found Zoom to be a pleasanter experience. With more than one person participating, there’s less performance anxiety. It felt as though my three kids and I were sitting around in a living room, just like in the old days. Conversation felt natural, and unstrained.

anxiously zooming into cyberspace. Zoom fatigue is causing anxiety during the pandemic. — During the pandemic, many are anxiously zooming into cyberspace. Zoom anxiety is real..

Not surprisingly, many younger people have Zoom anxiety, especially when it comes to meetings associated with their work. It freaks them out to see all those people looking at them. Worse yet, is the unflattering sight of their own panicked face. They find themselves feeling sweaty and tongue tied. The problem is so prevalent that Psychology Today has offered 3 tips on how to deal with it.

If you’re interested in zooming, all you’ll need is : A phone or computer; a webcam; speakers, a microphone, and of course, an internet connection. If You don’t need to have a Zoom account., most adults in the workforce already have one.

In my case, my daughter e mailed me an invitation to join her meeting. I clicked on the link, downloaded Zoom, used the passcode provided, and voila! I had zoomed into cyberspace. Not too bad for an octogenarian!

October 16, 2020October 16, 2020

HAVING A COVID-19 MELTDOWN?

Here’s what a covid-19 meltdown feels like: Hours after you’ve done something a bit risky, you start feeling apprehensive, and the worry begins to build . Were you too close to someone at the grocery store? Did that guy without a mask at the pharmacy breathe virus on you? What about that small family dinner? You don’t go inside restaurants except for pickup, but did one of the workers have covid-19? Now, you’re feeling lightheaded. Before you know it, your thoughts are spiraling out of control. Are you having a covid-19 meltdown?

A covid-19 meltdown may last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. During this time, you’re constantly checking the list of symptoms. Can you still smell? You go around sniffing coffee and lavender and a bar of soap. Yes, you can still smell. But now, your nose is dripping, and your eye looks bloodshot. Is it your spring/fall allergies acting up? Or, the virus? . You have an upset stomach. Was it that Mexican food you ate last night, or covid-19. You feel tired. Was it that long hike you took yesterday, or something more serious?

My first covid-19 meltdown happened in late March. This was when our city had less that one tenth of one percent covid-19 cases. The CDC was telling people not to wear masks. It wouldn’t protect you at all. Apparently, they were really were just afraid they were going to run out of masks for essential workers. When it turned out that people really should wear masks, we’d been running around for weeks without them.

Having a Covid-19 Meltdown? Try mindful breathing or a walk through the woods — Having a Covid-19 meltdown? A walk through the woods, or mindful breathing may help.

Around that time, we hosted a small family gathering , including someone from another town. That was when I first began to feel anxious about contracting covid-19. During the next four days, I symptom checked on and off every few hours. At the end of that time period , I relaxed, and put aside my worries.

Now, our city has become a hot spot, with 11% positivity rates. The fear is spreading. Over the past few months, I’ve had a couple more meltdowns. Since I suffer from both spring and fall allergies, any dizziness, fatigue, or dripping nose is alarming. My worries escalate. My husband is diabetic and close to 90. What would he do if I got sick? Where would I go to isolate? Mentally, I began to make plans.

Coping mechanisms that work best for me:

1) A walk along the river or through the woods.

2) Meditation and mindful breathing.

Here’s the thing– in the coming year, it’s probably not going to get any better. No matter who is elected president, the virus will continue to spread. I’ve resigned myself to the ever present danger. We’ll either get the virus, or we won’t. And until the plague has ended, I’ll probably have a few more covid-19 meltdowns.

September 25, 2020September 27, 2020

PANIC ATTACK! LOST CREDIT CARD.

A lost credit card can elevate my anxiety level to the panic mode. Unfortunately, it happens more often than I would like. A few hours after I’ve been to the store, I open my wallet, and find a blank slot where my credit card belongs. My stomach tightens. I take a deep breath. What if it’s been found in a parking lot, and someone is charging thousands of dollars to my account? I dash out to the car, look under my purse, frantically open drawers and claw through papers on my desk. Sometimes I find it right away. But if I don’t, look out. Panic attack! Lost credit card.

Losing my credit cards causes me to have a panic attack. — Panic attack! Lost credit card. The company may offer to block your account until you find it.

I explain my erratic behavior to my husband. Here’s a man who has never lost a credit card in his life. When we were first married, he would join in my search, worrying along with me. Especially if it happened to be our joint credit card. But now, he faces the crisis calmly. First, he assures me that it probably hasn’t been stolen, simply misplaced. He advises me not to report the card lost for at least an hour or so, which gives me time to calm down and retrace my steps.

Why does this happen to me? It started about 30 years ago, when I got mugged in a parking lot, and my purse was stolen. It was a scary experience, with a sinister looking man who also tried to get in my car. As he rattled the door handle, I jumped out and screamed. He grabbed my purse from the front seat and took off in what turned out to be a stolen car. After that, I vowed never to take my purse into a store. I always put my credit card in a back pocket, and never pay with cash. Most of the time, I remember to put the card away when I get in the car, or after I’m home. But sometimes, I get preoccupied and forget what I’ve done with it.

Finally, I call the credit card company. Why are they not surprised? Probably because they know it happens to me about two or three times a year. Or maybe it’s a more common experience than I realize. I cringe when I place an order on Amazon, and see all the “expired” credit cards listed on my account. They aren’t expired at all. They were lost by a scatterbrained woman.

Often, I find the credit card later. But I’m still mad at myself. I devise procedures that will ensure this will not happen again. Once, I went two years without losing a credit card. Then I have a relapse, and may lose two or three a year. I’ve decided there are three categories of people in this world. People who have never lost a credit card, those who seldom do, and then the day dreamers like me..

There must be a lot of losers, because the credit card representatives seem to take it in stride. Lately, they’ve begun offering to block my account while I look for my credit card. But I know it’s only a matter of time until it happens again, and I will have another panic attack over a lost credit card..

May 1, 2020May 1, 2020

FINDING SOLACE NEAR THE RIVER

When something stressful invades my life, I always find myself returning to the solace of the river. Living inland, I can’t enjoy the comfort of deep blue water or the sound of crashing ocean waves. But there are peaceful lakes and rivers all over the world, and they are there for you in times of despair.

In times of anxiety, find the solace of water by returning to the river — DURING TIMES OF ANXIETY, FIND SOLACE BY RETURNING TO THE RIVER.

My river—the Wabash—isn’t blue like the ocean unless the sun is very bright and the sky is cloudless. It’s often a cool, pale green. While watching the gentle, rippling waves moving up toward the bend in the river, I begin to relax . The Wabash is here for me now, and tomorrow. It’s steady, predictable and comforting. And even if I’m not stressed out, it gives me a feeling of calm and clarity that heightens my satisfaction with life in general.

The river front in my city isn’t a particularly popular destination. A cluster of subsidized senior housing units nearby doesn’t add much glamour.. Consequently, it isn’t a ritzy, fashionable spot. But the city maintains parks where children can play, and shelters where folks can picnic.

The banks of the Wabash are lined with towering trees and leafy bushes. Geese wander in the grass, guarding their fluffy yellow goslings. Around noontime , you will see many parked cars with solitary drivers, reading books or cheering themselves up from whatever might be wrong in their lives. Strangers may nod, but they keep to themselves.

There’s a movement in the town to do something like the river walk in San Antonio, Texas, I’m hoping that doesn’t come to pass in my lifetime. Right now, I like driving past the small childhood home of musician Paul Dresser who wrote, “On the Banks of the Wabash,” He lived there with his brother, Theodore Dreiser , author of the scandalous novel , “Sister Carrie.” Then, there’s that moment of joy when I see the sunlight shining across the water. And I’m glad I found solace by turning to the river.