Do you have a parent or grandparent who is hard of hearing?  Or maybe you’re noticing that your grandchildren need to speak up.  If so, you may feel frustrated.  If there’s one thing that upsets people, it’s when  you ask them to repeat themselves.  Instead of turning up the volume slightly, the tendency is to over react.   Please don’t do that.  It isn’t necessary.  Stop yelling at hearing impaired people.

My Dad wore hearing aids for twenty five years.  That’s when my hearing was perfect.  I can remember getting upset one time  when he didn’t understand what I said.  I did actually yell at him.  It was concerning a legal matter, and I was in a bad mood to begin with.  Luckily, my Dad wasn’t the type to hold a grudge, and he didn’t get mad at me.  But later, I was mad at myself for not being more considerate.

One of the unfortunate side effects of longevity is hearing loss.  50% of those over eighty years of age experience some.  Mine began in my late seventies, when I started  having trouble hearing my grandchildren.  My husband’s hearing is much worse than mine, perhaps because he grew up around noisy farm machinery.  I think my hearing loss  is probably genetic.

Both of us wear hearing aids without embarrassment.  However, we’re in the minority.  Only a third of people who need hearing aids actually wear them.  Most insurance policies don’t cover them.  And even if they can afford them, most old people feel that they would be stigmatized if people knew they wore hearing aids.

But even the best hearing aids aren’t 100% effective.  They don’t work well in gymnasiums or in places with high traffic.  One of the worst problems we experience is talking on the phone to customer service representatives.  For whatever reason, many tech support people have foreign accents.  Not only that, they speak rapidly.  And they do not suffer fools gladly.  If you ask them to repeat themselves, or to speak more slowly and distinctly, they may become irritable and impatient.  Often, they will simply hang up.

Friends and acquaintances are apt to be more tolerant when you explain you don’t hear well.  But close relatives may find it hard to adjust to this new sign of aging.   Why can’t you hear them like you used to?  Maybe it scares them a little bit.

Here’s what to do if you are speaking to a  hearing impaired person.  Look at them directly, face to face,  when you speak.  Don’t turn your back or mumble.  Don’t expect they’ll hear you if you’re in another room.  All it takes is some common sense and a little patience.  Make an effort to speak more clearly, and slightly louder until you’ve made sure they understand.  Stop yelling at hearing impaired people. It’s condescending and demeaning.  And there’s a good chance you’ll be in their same situation if you live long enough.