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OSCARS 2019: The Good, Bad & Strange

Every year,  I say I won’t  watch the Academy Awards Ceremony–and yet when my husband turns on the television, I find I’m sitting there with him.  This year promised to be better because they made some changes in the overall format.  The show was less boring than usual, but not great. The way it looks from here:  Oscars 2019: The Good,  Bad, and Strange.

The Good:

Who needs a Master Of Ceremonies at the Oscars: It was better this year without one.
THE ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW WAS BETTER THIS YEAR WITHOUT A MASTER OF CEREMONIES

Winners were advised they could only use up 90 seconds in their acceptance speeches.  I think a lot of them exceeded the limit, but they did get off the stage pretty quickly.

No Master of Ceremonies.  Hooray!  I can remember so many cringe worthy moments from past shows. Like the time David Letterman kept repeating Uma, Uma, over and over again.  Worse yet, they turned it into a forum to spout  their political beliefs.  Who wants to hear about politics when you’re watching movie stars?

Clips of nominated movies.  This is the best part of the show, and helps you decide which movies you want to see in the next few months.

The Bad:

I held my breath each time a woman with a long, flowing gown and  stiletto heels managed to make it up those stairs  to the stage without teetering over.  Safety Issue: guard rails needed.

Award winner read her acceptance speech from an i phone..  We had to wait for her to find the app.  After a few fumbles, she rattled  off a bunch of thank yous to numerous people whose names I couldn’t decipher, and had never heard of.

What do they have against Glenn Close?  Awards  are puzzling, and seem to be based on biases and internal politics rather than talent.

The Strange:

Male winners wearing stocking caps on stage.

Female presenters with big shoulder pads.  This fashion has been in an out of style every ten years since I can remember.  Is it supposed the make a woman look more powerful?  I think this just makes them look weird.

Stiff female hairdos that looked like they’d been painted  with shellac.  Hit them with a hammer and they might crack. Whatever happened to soft , fluffy  tresses?

Bill Porter in his tuxedo/gown.

Finally, There is still a huge difference in dress standards for men and women.  Except for Bill Porter, most men can  get away with  any old tuxedo, and look  like every  other man in the place.  Black, white, ho mum.  But ye gads.  Women must spend thousands of dollars to appear in a designer dress.  Glenn Close confided that her gown weighed 42 pounds! In comparison,  how much does a man’s tuxedo weigh?  Yep, there’s definitely a double standard for the men and the women.

But that’s Hollywood.

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SHOULD YOU TAKE A DNA TEST?

A few years ago, my children decided that all of us should take a DNA test.  I really didn’t want to know if I had a marker for some serious disease , but just to please them, I forced some spit out of my dry mouth into a test tube. The results left me wondering: should you take a DNA test?

DNA TESTING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE

My test , the first of its kind,  cost my kids $150.  Now, several  DNA testing companies have gotten in on the act.  You can spend anywhere from $90 to $190 for a DNA analysis. Someone had a Christmas special for $59 which apparently pulled in some big bucks. About half the young people I know had received one as a  Christmas present.   What are they hoping to find when they get the results?  The TV ads picture a person who thought he was mostly German and turned out to be half Spanish.  So how will that new found knowledge change his life or make him any happier?

Some people aren’t pleased with the results. One friend, upon discovering that he was one fourth Jewish,  concluded that his maternal grandmother, who was an actress, must have had an affair with her Jewish director.  It didn’t occur to him that 100 years ago, many Jewish immigrants  changed their surname to avoid the discrimination that was so widespread at the time.  And what does it matter now?

As I said before, many companies have jumped in on the DNA Testing cash cow. According to a reporter from Science News,  you can get tests from at least five different organizations, and get five different results.  Why are the results so different? Because DNA testing is a very inexact science.

My results didn’t tell me much. I always knew I came from French, German, English and Irish ancestry.  The DNA analysis told me I was of “Northern European” heritage, which means absolutely nothing at all.  Europeans from every part of that continent have roamed around the globe for thousands of years, starting wars, intermarrying, raping the conquered, and traveling to find better opportunities.

One important aspect of the test purported to show genetic “markers” for various diseases.   It did show that I don’t have the Alzheimer’s marker, but even if I had, it didn’t mean I was going to get the disease. To tell the truth, at this age, I don’t want to know that I might or might not  come down with.  If and when that happens, I will deal with it at the time. I certainly don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Children who were adopted, or perhaps in foster care, might  benefit from DNA testing.  They might even find some siblings if they, too, had submitted their spit to a DNA testing company.  Other than that, it seems to me it’s much ado about nothing.

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EASY ASPARAGUS PIMENTO SALAD

Are you tired of serving tossed salad every night? Looking for something fresh and different?  As a senior fixing dinner for two, I don’t want fancy recipes that take too many ingredients.  I’ve been making  easy asparagus pimento salad for years, especially in the springtime when asparagus is plentiful.

Five ingredients are all that’s needed:

Looking for an alternative to tossed salad? Try asparagus pimento salad.
Asparagus Salad needs only 5 ingredients and it’s super easy to assemble

Lettuce leaf

Half a pound  asparagus

Two teaspoons diced pimentos,

Bottle of 1,000 island dressing,

One sliced, hard boiled egg.

Preparation  takes only a few minutes:

Wash the asparagus, then trim off tough ends. I use about five spears for each individual salad .  Don’t bother steaming or boiling; just place the asparagus in a shallow bowl  with a little water.  Cook in microwave for about 3 minutes or when asparagus is crisp/tender. Run under cold water. Pat until dry..

On two salad plates, arrange  lettuce leaves topped with asparagus spears.

Sprinkle about one teaspoon of diced red pimento over spears.

Top with egg slices.

Provide a bottle of 1,000 island dressing, and let each person help themselves, according to their taste.

The salad itself is a mere 20 calories.  1,000 island dressing adds extra calories, depending on the serving size.

If you want something a little more unusual , you can find many asparagus pimento salad recipes on the internet.

For a healthy meal, serve with baked salmon and new potatoes.

Enjoy!

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WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?

When I see a car with dark, tinted windows, it makes me wonder: what are they hiding? Are they naked? Do they have a backseat full of guns or stolen goods? Are they on the run from the law and hope to avoid being recognized?

Today, when coming out of Walmart, I saw a man holding a little boy while trying to load his trunk. A white car with very dark windows whirled around them. If that father had moved an inch– he would have been run over. By then, the car was coming toward me. I tried to make eye contact with the driver, but it was impossible. And so, I stood stock still, hoping he wouldn’t knock me down.

The car turned into a parking place. Two men and a woman emerged with hats pulled down on their forehead, looking neither to the right or left, and hurried into the store. You had to wonder what was in that car that they didn’t want anyone to see. Or, maybe, they just thought they were being cool.

Blacked out cars pose a safety hazard to drivers and pedestrians, alike
It’s illegal to have darkly tinted car  windows, but the law is seldom enforced

Car window tinting has been a controversial issue for many years. It makes sense, in some cases. . Light tinting reduces glare, and controls the temperature inside the car. However, there are laws regarding the darker tints. The law allows a maximum tint of 30% on vehicle windows.

Pedestrians and  drivers need to see other drivers and make eye contact when on the road or in parking lots. . Whether it’s to wave another car into traffic, or let a pedestrian know it’s safe to cross because the car is stopping, eye contact can be as effective as turn signals.

Heavy tints obstruct the work of police and rescue workers in accidents and criminal pursuit. In addition, other drivers may be intimidated by a fully blacked out car. Nevertheless, many people defy the law and tint their windows much darker than what’s allowed..

Safety experts estimate more than 10 percent of vehicles have illegal window tinting. But do they get stopped by police and ticketed.? No, they don’t. The law is mostly ignored because the cops say they’re too busy chasing speeders and other driving violations.

In a country with so many road deaths, eliminating the use of illegal window tints ought to be a priority. Instead of dark tinting, drivers can wear sunglasses to avoid glare, and dress more modestly. Air conditioning will cool a car that’s been parked in the sun. The law , which provides for a fine and 30-day confiscation of the vehicle, should be enforced. Businesses that offer illegal tinting services should be penalized, too.

Meanwhile, watch out for dark tinted cars. Let them get ahead of you on the highway, and stop if they’re coming toward you on a crosswalk. Blacked out cars are a safety hazard.

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A RARE SIGN OF LOVE

Remember that line  from the song Chicago?  “I saw a man, he danced with his wife.”  Yesterday, I saw a  man helping  his wife with her coat, and opening the door for her as they walked out of a restaurant. You don’t often see men doing things like that anymore. Chivalry is a rare sign of love.

They were a middle aged couple, both a bit overweight.  But the woman was attractive, with high heels, carefully groomed blonde hair, and stylish clothes.  She didn’t mind being treated with love and respect, and her husband obviously enjoyed treating her like a lady.  Is there something wrong with this picture? Apparently so.

Modern feminist researchers call this type of behavior “benevolent sexism.”  They say that treating a woman like this shows that he considers his wife weak, and in need of protection.  That doesn’t sound so bad to this old lady.  Even though women are just as smart as men, it’s a biological fact that they aren’t as physically strong..

MOST WOMEN APPRECIATE A MAN WHO TREATS THEM LIKE A LADY. VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!

Believe it or not, when I was dating in the 50’s and 60’s, you waited until a man came to your door to pick you up for a date.  You would have felt insulted if a guy asked you to meet him somewhere..  But now, in big cities, a woman is expected to meet her date,  and get there on her own.    Everyone is equal.

We go to brunch occasionally at a college hangout.  I have never seen a young man holding a door open for his date.  Typically, one of them has their head down looking at their smart phones as they come and go.   Supposedly, a young feminist would consider it a put down if a guy treated her like a lady.

On Valentine’s Day, I propose the return of romance in a relationship.  What in the world is wrong  with “vive la difference” as the French say?   I feel loved and cherished on a cold winter day when my husband backs the car out of the garage and warms it up for a few minutes before I climb inside.  I’m not sure a feminist would enjoy that, but I do.

Happy Valentine’s Day↑

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SKANKY MALE IPHONE SELFIES

In the olden days (40 years ago) people who were so inclined took nude pictures of each other using a Polaroid camera.  This was considered ultra private, but even then, a rejected lover might use them as revenge photos to embarrass his former lover. Next came digital cameras, where you could go to Walmart and process your own photos, even though someone could be looking over your shoulder.   Now we have skanky male Iphone selfies which is probably the biggest risk.  Some snarky perp can easily hack into your cellphone and use the pictures for blackmail.

Why, then, would successful, intelligent men  continue to  send nude selfies over the phone?  Are they overestimating their visual appeal for the women in their lives?

David may be a work of art, but pictures of men's genitals are not
Photos of naked men aren’t as arousing as they might imagine

The success of magazines like Play Boy provide ample proof that men love seeing naked women.  Thus, males  assume the opposite is true, and that a female would love seeing their genitals.  But numerous studies have shown that a woman is less aroused by visual stimuli than a man.  Sales of magazines depicting male nudes aren’t big sellers.  In other words, the average woman Isn’t nearly as turned on seeing a naked man, as a man is in seeing a naked woman. Don’t ask me why.  Maybe we’ve changed too many diapers.

But if a man sends  a revealing photo to a woman,  she knows his ego is at stake.  She’s not about to let him know it’s not having the effect that he imagines.  Most men don’t realize that  women are far more aroused by touch.  The feeling of being embraced by a strong, muscular man is far more sensual and romantic than seeing him emerge from the shower.

Men, a picture of your “junk” isn’t nearly as arousing to women as you would like to think.  As the saying goes, it’s way Too Much Information, and  not worth the risk of sending over the phone.

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GOOD, BAD, UGLY SUPERBOWL

The Superbowl is the only football game I watch in any given year.  Not because I like football,  but because I enjoy the commercials and the halftime show.  And then, all the hoopla at the end.  It’s exciting to watch the exuberant winners, with their  wives and kids running onto the field.  This was the year of the  Bad, Good, Ugly Superbowl.

The Bad:

This year’s game was pretty dull IMO.   No one scored for so long that you felt like you were watching a high school game.  Scanning the different apps on my Iphone got me through the tedium.

The Good:

The National Anthem sung by soul singer Gladys Knight.  She looked gorgeous and it sent chills up and down my spine just listening to her magnificent voice.

Soul Singer Gladys Knight's memorable rendition of The National Anthem
Gladys Knight singing The National Anthem before the Superbowl kickoff.

The commercials—especially the NFL one.  It was entertaining  to see all those former players and NFL celebrities throwing cake and football, along with  some  funny antics.    This is one commercial I could stand to see again and again.  Not like those disgusting pharmaceutical commercials that you have to endure every night during the evening news. .

The Ugly:

The halftime show which consisted mostly  of fireworks, lighting, and people hopping and stomping across the stage while shouting and pointing.  What ever happened to real music?  You know, those melodies about love and life that stir your soul., and lyrics that touch your heart?  I have no idea what any of those performers were supposedly singing and saying, but there wasn’t a song that anyone will remember next year.

The worst was  singer, Adam Levine,  who ripped off his shirt and proudly pranced around to show us an upper body covered with hideous tattoos.  I guess it was supposed to be sexy, but to me , he looked dirty and sweaty.

Don’t you wish tattoos would go out of style?   They might look okay on young, smooth flesh, but how about on seventy somethings with wrinkles, sagging skin, and flab?    Dermatologists will probably be in high demand 40 years from now.  Hopefully, they will come up with a less painful procedure to erase tattoos.

But I digress.

Apparently, they couldn’t  get any performers they really wanted to do the halftime show, because everyone was siding with activist Colin Kaepernick, who decided to kneel during the National Anthem in 2016, and got kicked out of football.   I don’t know why athletes and performing artists want to get involved in politics, but if they want to risk making a bunch of people mad, I guess it’s their business.

Meanwhile, fewer and fewer people are watching professional football on television.  You wonder if Netflix is going to put them out of business.