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ARE YOU A BRAKE SLAMMER?

There are two kinds of drivers in this world.  Brake slammers wait until they’re an inch from a red light or stop sign before hitting their brakes, jolting their passengers, and worrying other drivers for fear they won’t stop at all.  Then, there are the slow, steady brakers. who  anticipate the change of the stop light as they approach an intersection. They don’t ride the brakes, but tap them lightly before applying a firm pressure as they come to a stop. Are you a brake slammer?  And if so, why?

Many older folks are brake slammers because they were taught that way.  My  mother grew up on a farm , rode a horse to school,  and didn’t learn to drive until she was 30 years old.  She pushed her seat  back and gripped the steering wheel as though she were holding the reins of  a horse.  Her driving was awkward, jumpy, and yes, she was a brake slammer.

Dad was a big city boy from Chicago, who drove a cab as a teenager.  He was always alert, shifting his eyes from side to side, but totally comfortable behind a steering wheel.  He maneuvered adroitly through heavy traffic even after he lost the sight in one eye.  Dad was not a brake slammer.  He taught me how to drive in the days when there was no such thing as drivers’ ed, and as you may have guessed, I’m not a brake slammer.

Brake slammers are apt to get rear ended by other brake slammers
BRAKE SLAMMERS ARE MORE APT TO GET REAR ENDED

Some  brake slammers are known to be impatient.  They may be driving over the speed limit, and hoping they will beat the light and not have to stop at all. Sometimes, they rush through as the light is changing and that’s when accidents often happen.

When I’m driving along a city  street and a  speeding brake slammer at an intersection stops abruptly at a stop sign,  I feel  prickles under my skin.  My gut reaction is to slow down, irritating the traffic behind me, because I’m not sure that vehicle is going to stop at all.

Brake slammers are actually hurting themselves.   Their brakes wear out so fast that they’re replacing them about twice as often as they should. Brakes are expensive, as anyone who’s had to replace them knows. Also , brake slammers are more apt to get rear ended by other brake slammers. https://www.autosimple.com/blog/10-bad-driving-habits/    But as far as I’m concerned, brake slammers are getting what they deserve.

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AGING BARBIE DOLLS IN POLITICS

In this era of raging feminism, it seems ironic that America’s two most influential females are so obsessed with their looks.  Melania Trump’s smoldering eyes, pouting lips  and stiletto heels remind us of a Stepford Wife.  Nancy Pelosi’s beauty parlor hair and greasy slathers of makeup seem more like Gloria Swanson than Speaker of the House.  Both women’s big boobs make you wonder if there’s some padding or surgery at work.  And surely,  yards of Spanx are squeezing their bodies beneath those tight fitting dresses. How can these women even breathe?  These are Washington  DC’s two Aging Barbie Dolls in politics.

American women can't relate to Melania Trump
MELANIA TRUMP’S SMOLDERING DEMEANOR DOESN’T APPEAL TO THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WOMAN

I’ve lived long enough to remember Eleanor Roosevelt, Bess Truman, and Mamie Eisenhower.  That was before president’s wives were expected to look like fashion models.  Then, we  had Pat Nixon and Roslyn Carter.  Both of these plain  women were  popular with the voters although married to unsuccessful  presidents. Jackie Kennedy may have been too fashion conscious , but at least she acted her age.

Betty Ford and Laura Bush were pretty,  but down to earth , and immensely well liked.  Nancy Reagan was a bit of a stick figure in her designer clothes, but her husband’s charm  overcame the vapid, blue eyed stare.  Poor Melania doesn’t even have that going for her.

More recently, we had  pant suit Hillary,  and  Michelle Obama –famous for her youthful arms and  gaudy sleeveless dresses.  Both  had the common touch,  and could relate to ordinary women.

Nancy Pelosi reminds us of an aging Barbie Dall
NANCY PELOSI LOOKS MORE LIKE AN AGING BARBIE DOLL THAN SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE

Remember the bra burning sixties and seventies?  That’s when women decided they would stop trying to meet impossible standards of beauty set by Hollywood. You would think that Nancy and Melania would get with the program.

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HOMELESS LADY WASHES HAIR AT LIBRARY

Most everyone who lives in a metropolitan area  has grown accustomed to seeing homeless people at the library. We also know that soup kitchens serve hundreds of people every day.  It’s a fact of life that makes us uncomfortable, because we don’t know how to deal with it  But when I saw a lady coming out of the handicapped stall at the library with wet hair, it really hit me in the gut.  Should a homeless lady wash her hair at the library?

Should the library allow homeless to clean up in their restrooms
SHOULD LIBRARIES ALLOW THE HOMELESS TO USE THEIR RESTROOMS TO CLEAN UP?

It wasn’t clear if she had washed  her hair in the hand sink before she went into the stall, or worse yet, dunked it in the toilet. She seemed disoriented.  The bathroom smelled of her dirty bags .  There were food crumbs scattered all over the floor. After an initial reaction of revulsion, I was overcome with feelings of sympathy.  The woman wasn’t that old—maybe fifty.  She was someone’s child, granddaughter, maybe mother or wife.  She was a human being in desperate need of help. And I had no idea what to do.  And so, I merely smiled and left.

I couldn’t erase the scenario from my mind.  What should I have done?  I turned to an internet chat room (Reddit) and asked for other’s opinions.  Most agreed that there was nothing I could really do, except smile and leave.  Other’s felt that the library should not tolerate this type of thing because the woman could have Aids, STDS , and other infectious disease  that could endanger others.  Some said I should have reported it to an employee of the library.

I surfed the internet to see what other libraries do.  Many cities like Seattle  have specific policies and procedures for dealing with the homeless.  https://www.newstatesman.com/world/north-america/2018/12/how-seattle-s-public-library-stepping-deal-city-s-homelessness-crisis  Some have social workers available to help those in need.

I ‘m not sure if librarians are in a position to deal with such problems.  In our town, various non profits provide homeless shelters.  But shouldn’t the government bear some responsibility ? Homeless people were probably once taxpayers, maybe served our country in the military.  At the very least, we should have public bathrooms where the homeless have access to showers. I know that security would be a problem, but it seems like that could be dealt with.  The poet John Donne would tell us that any man’s misery diminishes us, because all of us are involved in mankind.

 

‘No Man is an Island’

No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man’s death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

John Donne, 1624

 

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WHERE DO HAPPY PEOPLE HANG OUT?

Where do you see the most happy people?  In a bar or restaurant? At the beach? On a cruise ship? Actually, those places are often jammed with people TRYING to be happy.  But if you want to be among truly content, satisfied people, look no further than your local home improvement or farm store.  Regardless of their economic status , men and women  congregate in home improvement stores, every hour of the day, any day of the week.  They don’t have to dress up; they’re relaxed, and they’re shopping for something to improve their lives.   I’ve never seen an angry person walking through a farm  store.  Here in Flyover Country,  these are  places where happy people hang out.

You see more happy people in home improvement stores than you do in bars and restaurants.
SHOPPING IN A FARM OR HOME IMPROVEMENT STORE IS FUN AND RELAXING

Most of these stores started out as something simple.  Rural King was where you went for chickens.   Lowe’s began as a hardware store.  Menards was originally a pole building business.   These retailers slowly expanded, and appeal to customers who are quiet and serious, and enjoy shopping for toilets and cone flowers. Couples wandering the aisles in these places seem more content than the average twosomes you see elsewhere.  Let’s face it, you must have a fairly good relationship if you’re looking at new kitchen cabinets.

Unlike department and clothing stores where fashions fade each season,  what you buy in a home improvement store is going to give you  a longer lasting enjoyment.   I’d rather have dirt in my fingernails from planting roses  than bright, acrylic fingernails that will chip and crack.  I’d rather wander the aisles at Rural King eating free popcorn, than try on bathing suits at Macy’s.

Now of course, you won’t  set foot in these  down-to-earth places if you’re the glamorous type.   But I have to tell you, a new rose colored light bulb will  do more for your reflection in the mirror  than a slathering of expensive Estee Lauder foundation.

Maybe that’s why stores like Macy’s and Carson’s are closing, while  places like Menards are expanding all over the country.   These are happy people hangouts.

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ARE GRADUATION CEREMONIES TOO LONG?

GRADUATION CEREMONIES used to be reserved for high school and college. Now, they start having graduation events after kindergarten. Having lived through years of awards nights and graduation ceremonies with my three children, I can remember the endless hours and rituals before your own child finally walks across the stage.  Are graduating ceremonies too long?

Graduations are sometimes long and boring
NO ONE LIKES TO ADMIT THEY OFTEN FIND GRADUATIONS TOO LONG

I would not have missed any of my children’s graduation ceremonies for anything.  One daughter was her high school valedictorian, and later graduated from an Ivy League school.  Those graduations were pretty memorable for me, but maybe not so much for other parents.

Another daughter’s high school graduation was kind of a bummer. The girl who preceded her as they marched in alphabetical order was abruptly informed that no diploma awaited her.   Image the humiliation in front of all those people!  We have a video of the whole tragedy in living color.  This poor girl weeping as she walks  away empty handed ,  thinking she hasn’t graduated,.  My  own daughter crying in sympathy. as she accepts her own diploma.

Later, it was found to be a mistake.  Through some bureaucratic  error., the  unfortunate girl’s diploma had been lost in the shuffle .  She really did graduate, but by then, half the town thought she didn’t.   She  left soon after that.  never to return. Who can blame her?

I know someone who went to great expense and effort to attend his grandchild’s graduation.  Turned out they had FIVE , yes five valedictorians, all of whom made long, serious speeches while the audience nodded their heads, trying to stay awake.

  I am not good at faking interest in long boring speeches.  Coping mechanisms include wiggling my toes, studying someone’s strange attire,  going over grocery lists, mentally remodeling my kitchen, and sucking on hard candy. .

Sometimes, an honored keynote speaker gives a really great speech.  That helps a lot.  But the warm glow doesn’t really last long enough to get you through the tedium of hundreds  of students in matching caps and gowns slowly making their way toward the stage.

Like weddings and funerals, graduation ceremonies are a necessary part of life.  I just wish they didn’t have to drag on forever.

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HELP! BEE DRILLING HOLE IN HOUSE

It all began soon  after we retired.  We had dreamed of sitting on our front porch before dinner, sipping wine and enjoying our beloved Indiana greenery.  Unfortunately,   bees hovered over our wine, and mosquitoes enjoyed the taste of my skin.    After a few years, of slathering me with bug spray and swatting bees away from our wine, we decided to screen in the porch. That worked well for a long time, but just the other day, we noticed a pile of fresh sawdust on the ground . Upon closer inspection, we saw a deep hole under our porch railing.  Help! Bee drilling hole in house.

Last fall, we had a similar problem, when the squirrels began eating our house.  It was hot and dry, and I guess they were so hungry that the wood tasted pretty good.  https://livingwellafter80.com/help-squirrels-are-eating-our-house/

Okay, rodents with their sharp teeth, I can understand.  But I never dreamed a big black carpenter  bee could could drill herself a little nest inside our wooden porch railings. I scared her away for awhile with insecticide , and found the hole she was drilling.  It wasn’t very big, just about 1/4 of an inch in diameter.  Seemed like we could handle that.

CARPENTER BEES CAN DRILL DEEP HOLES IN A WOOD HOUSE

I turned on my computer and keyed in  Bees boring holes wood.  What I read scared me.   It turns out  that carpenter bees like to bore little holes in wood for a place to plant their eggs.  Yikes, hundreds of baby bees can grow  and develop  into grownups, right inside your house.   Worse yet, if you don’t realize what’s going on, they will drill more holes and soon you will have swarms of bees invading your home.

Someone suggested filling the holes with putty.  That worked for a day, until the putty either fell out, or the bee bored through it.  Soon , the bee was back at work. Okay, now I was desperate.  It wasn’t going to be that easy.  First, I approached the hole in the bright sunlight, while the bee was out doing something else.  I filled a q-tip with insecticide, inserted it in the hole, and poked around. The hole was wide and deep.  Next, I wadded up some Saran wrap and stuffed it in the hole, covered it with aluminum foil, and sealed it with duct tape.

Now we had a really frustrated, angry, bee. banging away at our porch.  She couldn’t believe what had happened.  Frantically,  she flew up and down,  drilling  away with that stinger in an effort to get back inside her hole. That went on until dark.  I don’t know what happened after we went inside, but she’s not there today, and I think she may have given up.  But now we know we aren’t safe.  It could happen again, anytime, anywhere, this summer.

Watch out.  Are bees drilling holes in your house?

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MEMORIAL DAY SALUTE TO UNCLE REN

Memorial Day is special for me, because so many of my ancestors and immediate family are buried in a small country cemetery.  Usually, my husband and I drive up to a nearby shelter for a picnic, then over to visit the graves of my parents and sisters.  That’s a hard time for me—missing them so much that a hollow feeling rises in my chest and tears run down my cheeks.

After arranging the flowers, the highlight of the day awaits me at the top of a hill, under a towering oak tree.  For there, my great, great, great uncle, Ren White, came back from fighting in the Civil War to erect a memorial to the men who served with him in “Company D.”  Every man in the company is listed, but it doesn’t say which ones didn’t return.  Uncle Ren wasn’t a captain, either—just a mere sergeant.  But when he came home, he spent the time and money to erect this memorial to the men who fought to free this country of slavery.  Wow! Gives me the shivers, just thinking of how proud I am of him.

I wonder what motivated him to enlist. Knowing that branch of the family, I’m sure his motives were not mercenary, because they owned thousands of acres of Indiana farmland. My mother, who loved genealogy, probably knew if Ren had a wife and children, but I don’t.

 Little did he realize that one day, a photo of that thoughtfully erected monument would be shown over the internet.  On this Memorial Day holiday, I salute you, Uncle Ren White, for your courage and patriotism.