HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD A GRUDGE?

Last year’s shooting of the newspaper staff in Annapolis got me thinking about the downside of holding a grudge. I doubt if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t feel some resentment over a long ago insult or perceived wrong. How long can you hold a grudge?

I held a secret grudge for many years against a young man whom I overheard jeering, and saying I was “crazy” at a teenage party. This was right after my older sister had a mental breakdown that required hospitalization. His words were like a razor across my heart. There was a huge stigma surrounding mental illness in those days (still is). His taunts reinforced the assumption that I was “tarred with the same brush” as my sister, as the saying goes. Thank God there was no Facebook, or I might have been bullied into suicide. Soon after, I went away to college and started a new life in Chicago upon graduation.

Fast forward: twenty years later. I’m back in my hometown with a new job, and I’m seeing this guy at public events and social gatherings more often than I would like. At first, I managed to avoid him. But then I would see him again, and the knot in my stomach told me I was still holding a grudge for that long ago incident. It was not pleasant; I hadn’t felt that way for a long time, so I took another look at this man, and realized he wasn’t really a monster, just an ordinary guy fighting serious health problems and a failing business. He had probably forgotten making such cruel remarks, and hopefully, he had matured enough that he would not do it again.

Then I remembered the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “Hate is too great a burden to bear, so I chose love.” I won’t say I began to love my former detractor, but carrying a grudge was too great a burden for me to bear, so I let it go.

The scary thing about grudges is that they become a self defeating obsession. https://medium.com/productivity-revolution/6-reasons-why-holding-grudges-makes-you-unhappy-7e2198de26fe In the case of the Annapolis shooter, he preferred killing 5 people and living the rest of his life in prison, to letting go of that grudge.

July 12, 2019July 16, 2019

THANK YOU, MRS. DOUBTFIRE

Last night, when we turned on the television, we realized there wasn’t much to watch. We used to be news junkies. But now, with all the Trump-boasting and spoiled-brat-liberal America bashing, we’re fed up with cable news, or anything coming out of Washington DC. The opening scene on the Hallmark channel began with a car load of puppies, which didn’t seem very exciting. In desperation, we turned to a channel featuring an old 90’s movie. Just for a while, we were able to laugh and forget about the dismal state of politics in our nation. Thank you, Mrs. Doubtfire.

The late nineties was the heyday of movies with female impersonators — FEMALE IMPERSONATORS ARE PROBABLY AN ENDANGERED SPECIES

I don’t think shows like Mrs. Doubtfire, Tootsie, and La Cage are going to be doing any updated versions. Female impersonators are probably an endangered species. When the far left politicians run out of things to protest, they’re probably going to start in on what they see as politically incorrect comedians. . Remember when blackface was a show business staple? I don’t imagine you will ever see Al Jolson singing Mammy ever again on television. And now, some feminists are starting in on drag queens.

https://www.feministcurrent.com/2014/04/25/why-has-drag-escaped-critique-from-feminists-and-the-lgbtq-community/

Female impersonators will soon be on the Hollywood blacklist. It won’t be long before the liberal crowd takes on actors like Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman. Robin won’t have to defend himself, but Dustin is still hanging around somewhere in California, I guess. The late nineties were probably the beginning of the end for funny films where men dressed up like ladies and everyone loved them–including women.

When I go about my business in the Heartland, I encounter ordinary, polite, calm men and women. They don’t seem particularly angry about anything. Whether they are black, white, Asian, or Muslim, they don’t appear hostile or worked up about what’s going on in the world. They just want to get on with their lives. And I have to believe most of them are sick and tired of politicians and the news coming out of Washington DC

Thanks again, Mrs. Doubtfire., for an entertaining evening.

July 10, 2019July 10, 2019

WHEN THE ICEMAN CAME

There’s an old saying: you never miss the water until the well runs dry. Earthquake, floods, and other natural disasters have thrown millions of homes without power all over the country. Many young people have never faced a prolonged loss of electricity, and may wonder what they would do without ice if the outage became widespread. Actually, ice was available without electricity in the early 20th century, but it was hard to come by. This is what happened when the iceman came, circa 1940:

Kids loved it when the ice truck came,and they could suck on free slivers of ice — ALL THE KIDS LOVED FOLLOWING THE ICEMAN’S TRUCK, SO THEY COULD SUCK ON FREE SLIVERS OF ICE

Although my parents had an electric refrigerator, most of our neighbors in the middle class neighborhood where I grew up had an ice box. Ditto my country cousins. The iceman’s truck was a welcome sight on a hot summer morning for kids playing outside. He moved slowly between deliveries, giving we children a chance to hop on the back of his truck and find slivers of ice to suck on. It tasted wonderful to the tongue: smooth, cold, refreshing. Sometimes, we “rode” the truck; other times we waited until he was parked for a delivery.

The ice didn’t do a very good job of keeping things cool; a 50 pound block only lasted 2 or 3 days during the long hot summers without air conditioning. The neighbors’ ice boxes looked pretty much like our refrigerator from the outside. The top section was for the ice, the lower for the food. At the bottom was a drip pan which needed to be emptied often, as the ice melted.

Where did the ice come from? My Nebraska-raised husband can tell you, because he helped his grandfather with the ice harvest. In the dead of winter, they would drive down to the Blue River, cut huge blocks of ice, bring them back on a horse drawn wagon to a wooden ice house insulated with hay, and cover the ice with sawdust. Miraculously, the ice–clear and cool–was still intact months later. Grandpa Sinn didn’t deliver the ice back in those days, but farmers could buy a chunk by stopping by his filling station. It was a good business, then

Ice harvesting, as done in the old days, could make a comeback if we're facing a national disaster — ICE HARVESTING WAS BIG BUSINESS BEFORE WORLD WAR II

http://www.drinkingcup.net/1850-ice-harvesting-storage-techniques-and-tools/

What would happen if we experienced long periods without electricity, due to terrorism or natural disasters? Many people throughout this planet could probably tell you. And I have to think we might go back to harvesting ice.

July 8, 2019July 9, 2019

7 TIPS FOR WALKING THRU THE PARK

When I was a child, walking to your destination was often not optional. It was a necessity. Many people didn’t own a car. The bus ran every 10 minutes, and there was always a corner grocery store. No one ran unless they were in a hurry. But when the jogging craze started in the late sixties., running was suddenly fashionable. And if you couldn’t run, you were supposed to walk. Now, the sidewalks and parks are full of walkers with colorful outfits and snazzy shoes. But things get more complicated after a certain age. So, here are 7 tips for walking through the park after 80.

Wear a safari hat with netting. This might strike you as overkill for a walk in the city park. But mosquitoes find me attractive, and I’ve had a couple of scary reactions to bee stings. I’ll admit to looking a bit strange with netting over my face, but most of my fellow walkers are so engrossed in their own exercise statistics that they barely give me a glance.
YOU MAY FEEL CONSPICUOUS WITH A SAFARI HAT, BUT THEY KEEP AWAY THE BUGS
Spray exposed arms and legs with bug repellent.
Pull on some compression knee sleeves. Yes, I have arthritis. No, I don’t care to have my knees replaced. The compression elastic enables me to walk without much pain even if they don’t make a fashion statement.
Carry a cane. You may not need it for normal walking, but a physical therapist recommended I use one while walking through the park, or anywhere on uneven terrain. Why? Because an elderly person loses their balance more easily. Mostly, I just carry my cane, or tap it lightly on the ground. But it may prevent a dangerous fall.
Download your favorite music into an MP3 player, and plug it into your ears. The rhythm of the music helps to pace your steps and keeps you company..
Charge your cellphone and stick it in your back pocket. You need it in case of emergency, and a health app can tell how far you’ve walked,
Fold a red bandana and put it in your pocket. If it’s a warm day, you’re probably going to sweat those toxins out of your body. You’ll need something to wipe your face and eyes.

Optional:

Sun Screen. Health experts recommend at least 15 minutes of unfiltered sunshine a day in order to get enough vitamin D. If it’s only a short walk through a shady park, you may not want to use sun screen.

Sunglasses: You may not need them. A safari hat shades your eyes, and sunglasses may cloud your vision.

Doctors recommend that we walk at least 150 minutes a week as long as we are able. Don’t worry about how you look. Just keep walking!

July 5, 2019July 5, 2019

HELP! I’M ADDICTED TO WHIPPED TOPPING.

Last night, as I was dishing up strawberries while watching the fireworks, I hit the panic button. We’re almost out of whipped topping. If I don’t get to the store today, we will be watching “Washington Week In Review” tonight with unadorned ice cream or fruit. Help! I’m addicted to whipped topping.

OLD FASHIONED MILK BOTTLES HAD CREAM AT THE TOP

It all started many years ago, when milk was delivered to our door with a layer of cream at the top. My parents used it for their coffee, but there was plenty left over for whipped cream. We had it on pudding, mostly, because that was cheap and easy . And we always had whipped cream on pie. I was skinny then, and so was my hard working mother. But later, it caught up with her, and my older sister, too. The introduction of Dream Whip in 1957 gave them hope. Dream Whip had only 10 calories in a serving as compared to 50 calories in whipped cream.

By then, we were buying our milk at the store, and didn’t have the extra cream, anyway. My mother was thrilled to have this low calorie substitute. In addition to using it as a topping, she had recipes for cheese cake and cream pies and many other desserts. Still, it required some effort to get out the massive mix master and dirty up the bowl and beaters just so we could enjoy ersatz whipped cream.

The best thing that happened for dessert lovers was the introduction of Cool Whip in 1966. . No mix master required. In fact, no mixing at all. Just scoop it out of the container and enjoy. A bowl of fresh berries tasted so much better covered with a cloud of whipped topping. It wasn’t quite as calorie saving as dream whip, but it was low fat, with half the calories of whipped cream. Now, we have lite whipped topping, which tastes just as good. It dresses up a plain old bowl of sugar free ice cream, even if you’re out of fresh berries.

Whipped topping It’s great for icing cakes, too. My daughter loves this recipe for pistachio cake, using whipped topping for the frosting.

Pistachio Frosting made with whipped topping is easy and delicious — Pistachio Cake frosted with pistachio whipped topping is easy and delicious

Pistachio cake

1 package yellow cake mix

1 small (3/4 oz) package instant pistachio pudding mix

4 eggs

1 ¼ cup water

¼ cup oil

½ teaspoon almond extract

7 drops green food coloring.

Mix all ingredients together and pour into a greased Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees, 45-50 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly pressed. Let cool 15 minutes before turning onto wire rack. Frost with pistachio whipped topping right before serving.

Pistachio Frosting:

1 small package (3/4 oz)instant pistachio pudding mix

½ cup cold milk

1 8 oz. container whipped topping

Mix the pudding mix and cold milk together in a mixing bowl. Be sure the mix is dissolved in the milk before adding the whipped topping; ; otherwise the frosting will be gritty.

This frosting is great for holidays. Sprinkle it with red sugar at Christmas. Make it pink at Easter with some red food coloring. Or serve it just plain green on St. Patrick’s day.

Hooray for whipped topping!

July 1, 2019July 16, 2019

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN COLLEGE WAS CHEAP?

When I graduated from an all girls high school in 1953, it cost $15 per semester hour to attend the local state teachers college. If you lived at home, you could pay for that with baby sitting money. Strange as it may seem, only 10% of my class went on to college. Why was that? What happened in the old days when college was cheap?

college degrees are losing their luster — Free College May Not Make Much Difference to High School Graduates

Young women weren’t motivated to attend college in the hope of getting a better job. In those days, most girls got engaged to be married before they were 20. Why bother with college at all? And for those of us who scrimped and saved and slogged our way through college, it didn’t really pay off. A good secretary who learned to type and take shorthand in high school made as much as a teacher.

Girls who went on to college were accused of looking for an “MRS degree.” It was assumed they were only interested in finding a well educated husband, who could provide a better life than a truck driver. . And it must have worked. If you read the obituaries of octogenarians who were prominent in society, it often says they met their husbands while attending such and such university.

Back then, most women who did graduate and entered the work force got married in a couple of years, had kids, moved to the suburbs, and became stay at home wives. Their hard earned college degree wasn’t nearly as helpful as reading Dr. Spock.

The birth control pill in 1960 marked the beginning of the women’s liberation movement. “Good” girls didn’t have to get married in order to enjoy sex. And they didn’t have to have kids unless and until they were good and ready. Employers began hiring women to fill traditional male occupations., and paying them better salaries. Their college degrees paid off if they studied accounting, engineering, or medicine. As more and more women attended college, tuition and fees went up. That small teachers college in my home town became a State University. Enrollment multiplied five times over the years.

Now, I see the pendulum swinging the other way. A college degree is beginning to lose it’s luster. Enrollment is declining. With salaries rising for skilled trade jobs, and the $15 an hour wage looming on the horizon, it hardly seems worth it to pile up half a lifetime of student loan debt. https://livingwellafter80.com/why-some-bright-kids-drop-out-of-college/

And, let’s face it. We’re heading toward socialism. When health care and a college education are free, then there’s less incentive to spend four years of your life in a classroom when you could get a good skilled trade job, buy a house, and start a family before you’re thirty. As a matter of fact, waitresses and bartenders now make more than many college grads.

I’m all for a free college education as proposed by numerous presidential candidates. Just don’t be surprised if a lot of young people aren’t interested in taking advantage of it.

June 28, 2019June 28, 2019

MAYOR PETE MADE US PROUD

Did you watch the Democratic debates? We watched the first hour, and then it was past our bedtime, so we didn’t make it all the way to the end. It was interesting to listen to all the candidates who , before the debates, had merely been cardboard figures depicted by the media. You have to be pretty sharp to get as far as they all did, but the most amazing candidate of all was Pete Buttigieg, the Mayor of South Bend. If anyone figured this hick from Indiana was going to make a fool of himself, they were sadly disappointed. As Hoosiers, Mayor Pete made us proud.

Mayor Pete came into the debate as a lightweight underdog, but came across as a classy intellectual — Mayor Pete came into the debate as a lightweight underdog; he came out as a classy intellectual.

My husband and I do not agree with every thing Pete believes in. As an example, we think there was a good reason our founding fathers established the electoral college. Should big city apartment dwellers and intellectuals from coastal cities throw Midwestern values under the bus? I won’t elaborate on that because it would take more space than a blog allows to say why we’re opposed to the popular vote.

But here’s the thing about Mayor Pete. If I were in a position to tell him face to face why I disagree with him, I know he would listen. He wouldn’t call me names, or put me down. Why? Because he’s a gentleman. He has class. And we really, really, need some class coming out of Washington DC.

I suppose his homosexuality is going to rule him out as a viable candidate. You might think that as an octogenarian, his sexual orientation would be problematic for me. But when I busted out of a parochial girls school back in the 50’s, I met a gay guy during my first semester of college. He was funny, smart and the two of us could spend hours talking about anything and everything. No one admitted to being gay in those days. He even had a girlfriend. But he was the one I could talk to when a boyfriend broke my heart. And so, I’ve had gay friends all of my life.

Mayor Pete went into the debates as an underdog and a lightweight. But he didn’t falter when questioned. He stood his ground and showed an intellect that equaled–and maybe surpassed –the other candidates. If you were expecting a word slurring hillbilly, you were in for a surprise.

LIVING WELL AFTER 80

Posts