SHOCKED SENIOR CARDED AT MARKET

It was a dark and stormy day, and I was out of fresh lettuce and tomatoes. Yes, we could have done without a salad, but dinner wouldn’t have seemed complete . Reluctantly, I bundled up, pulled on my mittens, and drove to the store. My nose dripped as I shivered against the wet snow. But it was good to be inside, where I usually recognize so many of the clerks. I wandered past the produce section and noticed my favorite chardonnay wine on sale. Only a few bottles were left, so I put them in my cart and proceeded to the checkout. That was when this shocked senior got carded at the supermarket.

None of the clerks looked familiar. I figured they must be training some new personnel. One checkout stand was empty. It seemed odd for a Saturday. Most of the time, there’s a long line in every lane. Happy at the prospect of a quick checkout, I loaded my salad makings and wine on the conveyor belt. The clerk started to add up my purchase, and then stopped. “I’ll have to see your driver’s license.” she warned. I gave her a blank look.

Because I I once got mugged in their parking lot, I only carry a credit card and my car keys in my pocket. No purse to be stolen.

Even if you look your age, you can still be carded at the supermarket if you buy wine. — Indiana law requires seniors to show their ID in order to buy wine at the supermarket.

Since I’ve been shopping at this store for over 30 years, and never been asked for my driver’s license, I was flabbergasted. “Can’t you just key in my birthday?” I asked. She frowned and shook her head. By this time, there were people waiting behind me. “You’re going to make them wait while I run out in this weather to get my wallet out of my car.” I asked. She nodded.

I asked to see the manager, but he was a stranger. Apparently, the one I know well had the day off. This unfriendly guy did not offer any support, and explained the clerk was simply enforcing the Indiana State law requiring retailers to check all ID’s for for alcohol sales. Is that crazy, or not? And why did they suddenly change their policy after all these years. ?

That law has been on the books for over ten years, but seldom enforced. This is the first time I’ve been asked for my driver’s license. I don’t look like a teenager. What would happen if they sold me a bottle of wine without asking my age? Would they end up getting arrested? Of course not. Common sense. Why they suddenly decided to enforce this antediluvian policy with an octogenarian on a freezing winter day will forever remain a mystery . But I was determined to have my bargain wine, so I ran to the car and got my wallet.

The idea of giving my driver’s license to a stranger was unnerving. I didn’t want it scanned. It felt like an invasion of privacy. Nevertheless, I handed it over, and left the store in a daze. But I did enjoy that glass of chardonnay wine with dinner.

February 7, 2020February 7, 2020

FREE BOOK: TAKE THE MONEY

Are you getting worn out with winter? Dreaming of palm trees, warm breezes, and blue skies? If you can’t get on a plane or drive a car, I’m offering you a free trip to Costa Rica via Kindle. My novel came out a few years ago, but I think it’s still a good read if you’re looking for armchair travel. Download a FREE BOOK: TAKE THE MONEY: ROMANTIC SUSPENSE IN COSTA. This offer starts today, Feb 7, and runs through Feb. 10.

Here’s the synopsis on Amazon:

kThis book is free on Friday, Feb 7 thru Monday, Feb. 10 — **Take The Money** is Free Friday 2/7 through Monday 2/10 on Kindle @ https://amzn.to/1AgDW8a:

What would you do if you witnessed a murder and the victim gave you $60,000 just before he died? Should you keep the money or call the police? Julie Lawson has only moments to decide.

Julie goes for a drive in her boss’s new Porsche, but a joyride turns to terror when they’re rammed from behind and tumble into a ravine. Knowing he won’t survive, Kevin Dufrain urges Julie to take the money and run because, “they’ll get you, too.” She boards a night plane to the cosmopolitan city of San Jose, Costa Rica and meets mysterious businessman, Bud Jimenez, who helps her find a job at the “Memphis South,” a popular nightclub run by Texas beauty, Nellie Compton. But when Julie discovers the killer has tracked her down, she heads for a beach near the Nicaraguan border.

Julie’s small plane is forced to land in a remote Indian Village where she meets the passionate and charismatic Dr. Enrique Rojas, a widower who runs a medical clinic for the impoverished natives of Costa Rica. Here, Julie thinks she’s found the secret thing she always wanted to do, but it may be too late. The killer is still on her trail and the DEA suspects her of drug trafficking. Her fragile hopes for happiness seem about to shatter. Now, Julie must lose herself to discover what’s really important in life.

Take the Money is a compelling tale full of passion and courage. It takes you from a corrupt, inbred, southern Indiana town to the mountains, beaches, volcanoes, waterfalls, rain forests, and all of the fabulous natural wonders of beautiful Costa Rica.

If you’re having midwinter doldrums, this free e book should give you a lift. DOWNLOAD IT FEB 7 THROUGH 10 @ HTTPS://AMZN.TO/1AGDW8A

February 5, 2020February 15, 2020

SEX EDUCATION AT THE SUPER BOWL

There’s a big controversy in our city about sex education in the public schools. Indiana policy is that any sex ed class must teach abstinence as the only sure way to avoid pregnancy. That sounds fairly accurate. It’s true, isn’t it? The problem is that some parents want their kids to learn more about safe sex, and how to enjoy it. Those parents must have been very happy last Sunday. During the Super Bowl half time show, Pepsi sponsored a lesson in Sex Education.

You needn’t go to a strip show in Vegas to watch porn. You can see it in your own living room during an all American football game. If you were a parent or grandparent watching with your kids, you could thank Pepsi Cola, Sharia, and J, Lo for providing a very graphic lesson in sex education.

Maybe you’ve been one of those over protective parents who discourage porn, and encourage modesty. Did you think the super bowl half time show was vulgar and disgusting? Get over it. After seeing what’s acceptable at an NFL event, you may as well stock your medicine cabinet with condoms and morning after pills.

Sharia’s exhibitionist performance, sent me to the other room for a good book. I didn’t get to see J. Lo showing our kids how to do a pole dance in a strip show. I’ve heard she bared her rump, and made some obscene gestures. And to top it off, her eleven year old daughter got to take part in her Mom’s performance.

J.Lo and Sharia gave a lesson in Sex Education at the Super Bowl — Thanks to Pepsi, our kids got a lesson in sex education at the Super Bowl.

I was sure that the media would freak out in protest. But guess what? They gave this sexual performance rave reviews. Only that old fuddy duddy Franklin Graham had the nerve to call the show out for sexual exploitation. We wonder what’s wrong with kids today. Why are they promiscuous, and why so many unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases? Look no further than the Super Bowl half time show for an explanation.

February 3, 2020February 3, 2020

BAD HAIR DAYS AT TRUMP TRIAL

The Senate camera during the impeachment trial was cruel. Its focus on the top of people’s heads was about as unflattering as it gets. The camera illuminated the bald spots of many on the defense team, the house managers, and even Supreme Court Justice Roberts. It was worse for Zoe Lofgren, as her hair frizzed out over her glasses. Jane Raskin’s side bang kept falling across her eye. She needed a bobby pin. Yes, there were some bad hair days at the Trump Impeachment trial.

The camera was not kind during the Trump Impeachment trials — House Manager Zoe Lofgren had a bad hair day during the Trump Impeachment trial.

Does appearance influence the audience? You have to believe it does, because you seldom see an unattractive reporter on any news show. I’m wondering if any of the impeachment teams wore makeup? From the looks of them, probably not a lot The women, of course, can get away with more frippery. But I’m always distracted by dangling earrings. Some females opt for a bit of cleavage. Pam Bondi’s low cut black dress on Thursday was a little more revealing than it needed to be. Perhaps that was intentional, but maybe not.

Good looks aren’t all that important for elected officials. Female senators and congresswomen are generally a bit plain. There are rare exceptions like Tulsi Gabbard. But the appearance of female politicians doesn’t arouse much jealousy in the looks department. Let’s face it: most women aren’t going to vote for someone who looks like Jenifer Aniston.

Back to the camera angle during the impeachment trial. Network television cameras are much more forgiving. Until this week, we didn’t realize how many senators and congressmen were going bald. The senate cameras give us a view from the top. Maybe it’s a security issue. But it made for some bad hair days during the Trump impeachment trial.

Jay Zekulow's hair may not be real, but it looked good — Trump defense attorney Jay Zekulow’s hair looked good, in spite of the camera view from the top.

On the other hand, there were a few winners. Patrick Philibin had some pretty decent head shots. Adam Schiff has a receding hairline, but his hair is nice and wavy. Jay Zekulow’s thick, black hair looked good from every angle, each time he stood up to speak. His detractors claim it’s a toupee. I don’t know. It still looked good on television. If Dolly Parton can wear wigs, why can’t he?