DOES LOSING REALLY SUCK?

The other day, I was playing cards and mostly losing. Usually, such a dry run leaves me a bit down. But on that particular day it didn’t bother me at all. Why? Because I was looking forward to a fun event, and the game seemed unimportant. We probably get upset about losing because it threatens our self concept of a competent, intelligent human being. But on that day, I was feeling so good about life that it didn’t matter. So, does losing really suck?

Competition is ingrained in our DNA, and part of what makes us human. We are always trying to improve ourselves and our life, and when we win, it’s natural to feel uplifted. But if you must win at any cost, and it ruins your day to lose, then the stakes of the game are way too high. Most players are uncomfortable around hyper competitive people who are determined to win, no matter what. Sore losers are often rigid and unforgiving of themselves and others. An excessively competitive person may spend so much effort to succeed that they neglect other parts of their life, which can lead to burnout and isolation

Then there are the sore winners who –by definition–gloat and high five over a victory.. Although most of us are annoyed by sore winners, we should actually feel sorry for them , because they are showing signs of fragile self esteem.

Does losing really suck — PLAYING GAMES MAY PREVENT DEPRESSION AND PROVIDE A PLEASANT WAY TO SOCIALIZE WITH FRIENDS

Physical or mental games aren’t just about coming out on top. They’re a pleasant way to pass the time and socialize with friends. If others win while you’re losing, think of how good they feel. Congratulate them on their skill or good luck. Whether you win or lose isn’t nearly as important as being with friends and celebrating their successes.

Playing games also helps ward off depression. When you’re concentrating on winning a trick or hitting the ball, you’re forgetting about your job, family troubles, and financial problems. Don’t let the fear of losing keep you from entering the competition.

August 12, 2019August 10, 2019

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE ALWAYS LATE?

All of us have family and friends who are always late. Mostly, we just expect it, and put up with it as a harmless, but undesirable character trait. And yet, you have to wonder. Why are some people always late?

Yes, lateness is offensive to us punctual people. So, today, I searched the internet for ways to understand these habitual offenders. I expected to find lots of critics, and I did read some articles flatly stating that tardiness is rude, inconsiderate behavior practiced by self centered people. But hold on to your hats, folks—it ain’t necessarily so.

According to psychologists, lateness has a myriad of causes. Some people just can’t get their act together, because they’re overly optimistic about how much time something will take. They think it will take half an hour to get to the airport, when actually, it will probably take much longer, depending on the traffic. Others multitask, and get so involved with what they are doing that they lose track of time. Supposedly, this is a very good excuse and means the person is more is creative and laid back. Stop, I’ve heard enough. I don’t want to believe the person who keeps me waiting half an hour for a theater date is a highly sensitive, thoughtful person.

People who are always late don't always mean to be rude: they may be procrastinating perfectionists — Family and friends are often annoyed by people who are always late

More to my liking were the articles that attributed lateness to negative traits like a desire for attention, or passive aggression.

Then there were the scientists who have discovered that people with low self esteem are apt to be critical of their own abilities which makes them take an excessive amount of time checking their work, and hence, they miss many deadlines. Another psychologist stated that lateness is a consequence of serious mental health or neurological conditions. Up, down, all around. If you’re always late you could be creative, intelligent, manic, lazy or any label you can come up with.

Okay, I’ve heard enough now to realize that that I should be more tolerant of tardiness. So, the next time someone is an hour late for a dinner date, I’m supposed to relax, order another glass of wine on an empty stomach, and smile? No, I don’t think so.

August 9, 2019August 9, 2019

HOW TO PLEASE A VEGAN

Having grown up in the post depression years, I was taught to eat what was set before me. Money was scarce, and my parents struggled to put food on the table for their 4 children. We learned to eat “variety meats” such as hearts, liver, and kidneys. I still have a fondness for those meats, even though I wouldn’t dare serve them to anyone in my family. But, the times, they are a changing. Vegans are sprouting up everywhere, from ages 9 to 90. What should you do when they come to dinner? How to please a vegan?

First, you will have to find out what type of vegetarian you’re talking about. Strict vegans eat nothing that comes from a mother—including butter, honey and cheese. Those are the toughest to cook for if you don’t understand that basic rule. Easier to please vegans are those who will eat eggs, cheese and fish. It’s important to know what their diet allows.

Balck bean, corn & avocado salad is a dish vegetarians enjoy — Black Bean, Corn & Avocado Salad will please vegans.

If you’re cooking for a strict vegan who lives with you, it means you’re going for the long term. You will have to find ways of providing plenty of good protein for growth and maintenance of body tissues. These will come from grains, nuts and legumes.

Now, what should we old folks do about all of this? Our own parents would have been horrified at the idea of indulging a vegan child , grandchild., or even a friend coming to dinner. But as a dietitian, I can’t adopt that attitude. I know that a vegan diet is a healthy choice, which will lead to lower cholesterol and blood pressure. It won’t necessarily keep your weight down since vegan diets include lots of carbohydrates in the form of fruits, breads, etc. But I respect a vegan’s choices. After all, they are taking responsibility for their own health..

I went on a vegan diet a few years ago, after visiting a cattle feed lot in Nebraska. When I saw a cow lying dead from heat exhaustion, I was nauseated with the thought of eating an animal. It was months before I could stand the sight of beef on my plate. But then, my old meat addiction kicked in, and I started ordering steak at restaurants once again. However, that experience gave me a new understanding of the vegetarian mindset.

I served this easy recipe at a family gathering that included just one strict vegan. But guess what? Everyone at the table had seconds!

Black Bean, Corn and Avocado Salad

Ingredients:

1 (15 1/2 oz.) can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 (8.75 oz) can whole kernel sweet corn

1 medium avocado, chopped

6 cherry tomatoes, sliced in half

1/4 cup chopped onion

juice of 1 lime

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1/8 tsp. each salt and pepper

Directions:

Mix all ingredients together in a medium size bowl. (The lime juice helps keep the avocado from turning brown) Refrigerate for 2 hours and serve.

August 7, 2019August 7, 2019

JENNIFER ANISTON’S SHOCKING ELBOWS

Elbows are a body part I’ve never given much thought. But then, Google decided to send me a pop up photo of Jennifer Aniston’ s rear view as she walked down the street. OMG! A shocking photo of this eternally beautiful woman reveals her wrinkly elbows. It seems she’s pretty concerned about it–-even going so far as to massage them with special creams.

Most of us see wrinkles on our faces and eyelids. We see what childbirth has done to our tummies. And if you are rich or vain enough, you may consider a face lift, eye lift, or tummy tuck.–especially if your significant other has a wandering eye.

Even if your have a facelift and tummy tuck, wrinkled elbows show your age — Jennifer Aniston is seriously concerned about her wrinkled elbows

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the average costs for these procedures are: Face lift, $7,448, Tummy Tuck, $6,253, Eye Lift, $3,163. Those are physician’s fees and don’t include anesthesia or operating room factors. . Assuming you’re in the business of looking young and beautiful, you might think those surgeries would do the job. But not if you’ve overlooked your hinge joints.

You’re not really through with your back-to-youth makeover until you’ve tightened up your wrinkled elbows and maybe your knees. Physician’s fee for an elbow lift is about $3800.

Apparently, models and celebrities have tricks for hiding their elbow wrinkles. They’ve learned to bend their arms just slightly so the camera doesn’t pick up on that age defining part of their anatomy.

The thought of wrinkled hinges has begun to fascinate me. All of a sudden, I’m looking at women’s elbows instead of their faces. For the first time, I held up a mirror to observe my elbows, and it was obvious they had some mileage on them. However, I’m not about to spend thousands of dollars on an unpleasant and risky surgical procedure. It seems simpler to wear long sleeves for special occasions.

I’m sure that some of my contemporaries have visited the local beauty bar for botox injections and face peels. And many have come back from mysterious trips to California with puffier lips and skin pulled taut over their cheekbones. But if they haven’t done anything about their wrinkled elbows, their age is still showing. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

August 5, 2019August 5, 2019

Mourning A National Tragedy

We’re in shock this morning. Our hearts go out to the victims of the mass shootings in Texas and Ohio, and the lives that have been changed forever. We’re mourning a national tragedy.

This is a national day of mourning — GRIEVING FOR THE VICTIMS OF THIS WEEKEND OF TRAGEDY

Why do these things happen? I don’t remember any mass shootings while raising my children. Some presidential candidates are now politicizing the shootings. But forty years ago we had Democrats and Republicans and Jim Crow Laws and the Vietnam War. Mental illness was widely prevalent, but poorly understood or treated. And there was very little gun control.

This is what we didn’t have: the internet. There were no violent video games so readily available, desensitizing young men to violence. No one had a Facebook account, where people could brag and make other people envious. There was no Instagram or Twitter where you could publicly shame or bully someone to the point of suicide. Now, Instead of face to face relationships and real conversations, everyone just texts. We’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to talk to a real live person.

Technology has changed our world and done wondrous things for our society. But it’s also dehumanized us to the point where violence has become the norm.

August 2, 2019August 2, 2019

DISAGREEING WITH LIKABLE CANDIDATES

After watching the Democratic debates, I find myself disagreeing with the three most likable candidates.

I really like Pete Buttigieg. I think he has the perfect style befitting a president of the United States. He’s cool, calm and collected. He’s intelligent and articulate. He appears to be kind, tactful and diplomatic. And, I’m proud he’s a fellow Hoosier. But do I agree with his proposed policies? Not so much. Here are his policies I don’t like: open borders, popular vote. I like the idea of Medicare for all, but don’t think it’s economically feasible right now. Maybe later.

Mayor Pete came into the debate as a lightweight underdog, but came across as a classy intellectual — Mayor Pete came into the debate as a lightweight underdog; he came out as a classy intellectual

Obviously, an octogenarian’s opinion such as mine will not be mainstream. Most Democrats seem to like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, but they strike me as far too strident. When Bernie starts shouting and waving his arms, I’m afraid he’s about to have a stroke. Elizabeth is a fireball speaker, but somehow, I don’t trust her. Even Canada doesn’t offer a free college education for all. I can’t imagine how we would pay for that, or all the money that would be wasted on kids who don’t want a college degree so much as a free ride for four years.

Biden? Way past his time. And, I don’t like his touchy-feely-smelly style with women. Kamilla Harris? I don’t see a former prosecutor as presidential material. The way she attacked Biden during the first debate may have been her break out moment, but I think it was mean spirited and uncalled for.

Booker and Gabbard have that likability factor

Besides Buttigieg, I like the way Tulsi Gabbard says it like she sees it—but her plan to pull out of Afghanistan is worrisome. Cory Booker reminds me of a better looking Obama. He’s got that spark, but his minimum wage plan is myopic. $15 an hour in my city would result in a much different lifestyle than in The Big Apple.

After watching the Democratic debates on television, my top likability picks are Booker, Buttigieg and Gabbard. But if I ever met them face to face, we’d have to agree to disagree.