FOR SOME, TIS NOT THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY

For the average happy, healthy person,  Christmas is the best time of the year.  But for those who’ve hit a rough patch in life, it’s not so great.  If you’re going through a  divorce, illness, job loss, or  a myriad of other personal crises ,  the holidays only increase the feelings of isolation.  For some,  tis not the season  to be Jolly.

Each individual man, woman, or child deals with sadness in their own way.   Some pray, or seek counseling. Others turn to mind altering substances like drugs and alcohol.  I am not qualified  to offer any expert advice to those unfortunate individuals who are feeling holiday blues.

It's worse to be sad when everyone else is happy
The holidays can be a sad time for those who are experiencing a personal crisis

But common sense tells us there are ways to  cheer and comfort anyone going through a bad time.    Often, the person doesn’t want to share their feelings.  They may put  on a happy face as though they are perfectly alright.  if we’re close enough to our co-workers, family or friends,  we know who is  suffering silently.  But the last thing they want is pity.

If we go overboard with our feelings of sympathy by doing something extravagant, they will be embarrassed.  Best do little things, like asking them to meet for lunch or go to a movie.  Maybe  a text to share a photo, or a phone call to say you’re thinking of them.  .Sometimes, just going out of your way to smile and say hello could give them a lift.    If they open up ,  listen to what they’re saying, but do not offer advice unless they ask for it.  And if they dwell on negative feelings,, say  something positive,   tell a  funny story,  or share a little joke.

 Don’t try to fix things.  You can’t cure cancer, save a failing marriage, or bring back a lost loved one.  But if they  feel that you really care,  you can cheer up a sad person  and help them  weather their own, private storm  during the holidays.

Happy holidays,

WHAT IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE HOLIDAYS?

What I’m about to say will probably mark me as a female Scrooge out of Dickens.  I’m not talking about holiday blues and depression –that’s another issue altogether.  But what if you don’t like the holidays?

What’s not to like?  First , it’s become a worn out season that goes on way too long.   They start putting out Christmas decorations the day after Halloween.  By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, I’m  sick of  looking at plastic poinsettias and blow up Santas.  How many other national  holidays are celebrated for two months?

THE HOLIDAYS CAN BE TIRING
SOME OF US DON’T LIKE ALL THE GORGING AND GIFTING AND GLITTER

Ditto for Christmas music.  A little bit goes a long way.  I love some of the religious songs , but  if I  hear Silent Night one more time while I’m driving, I’m going to fall asleep at the wheel.  And how many times can you hear jingle bells before the very sound of them grates on your nerves.?  Again, what if they started broadcasting America the Beautiful and other summer holiday songs  in April?

I don’t like giving and receiving expensive presents.  My very best memories of Christmas gifting was in the era when they still had dime stores.  The four kids in our family were each given fifty cents to spend at the dime store for mom, dad, and the other 3 siblings.  There were some amazing gifts, there.  Perfume and hankies for the parents. A little doll or truck for a sister or brother.  And then, the fun of wrapping each gift in pretty paper, carefully tying it with a name tag,, and putting it under the tree on Christmas eve..  Just enough time for us to hold “our” presents up to the ear, and shake and rattle them.   What  were they? Perfume?  Bath powder? A doll? A set of jacks? (that’s a game kids played if they didn’t have much money ).

I don’t like holiday parties when people drink too much and say things they later regret.  It’s even happened to me a few times in my younger days.  Nothing like New Year’s day remorse.

But most importantly, I don’t like the way  the entire holiday hoopla depends on women.  It wasn’t too bad when the dad worked and the moms stayed at home.  But most women work nowadays, and yet they are the ones who are responsible for everyone’s holiday happiness.  Or sure, the guys may decorate the house and put up a tree, but that’s a one day deal.  They don’t have to cook and bake, clean up the house and  produce memorable, extraordinary holiday meals.  They don’t plan the parties and fix the snacks..  They aren’t the ones making gift lists and frantically shopping for everyone’s heart desire. They don’t  have to worry about teacher’s presents and school gift exchanges.  The list of what women are expected to do at Christmas is endless.

When I was a hospital department manager, I wasn’t required to work on Christmas day, but I usually took my turn with the rest of the supervisors.   There was something very special about visiting the sick on Christmas Day.   It  satisfied that spiritual hunger I had felt all season.  Spending time with patients wasn’t about gorging and gifting and glitter.  It was about peace, love, and giving comfort.  Wasn’t that what the original Christmas was supposed to be about?

RICH, FLAKY, COFFEE CAKE ROLL (corrected recipe)

Update:  just realized I had left out the 2 sticks of margarine in my recipe.  So Sorry!

I first tasted this  rich, flaky, coffee cake roll while living in Chicago,  when a German  neighbor brought it to a kaffeeklatsch in our building.    I had always avoided recipes with yeast, because they required a lot of kneading and the problem was, you might either over knead or under knead, and that would ruin the whole thing.

easy coffee cake
YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNEAD THIS RICH, YEASTY, COFFEE CAKE ROLL

But this  was so easy that I made it every year on Christmas and Easter for the next four decades.  Friends and family asked for the recipe, and soon, they were claiming it as their own.

 

 

INGREDIENTS

1 package active dry yeast

¼ cup warm water

¾ cup warm milk

3 egg yolks

4 cups flour

2 sticks (1/2 cup) cold margarine

1 teaspoon salt

¼ cup sugar

FILLING

1 stick margarine

1 cup powdered sugar

½ cup finely chopped walnuts

ICING:

¾ cup powdered sugar

Enough milk to make a thin paste

DIRECTIONS:

In a large bowl, mix flour, salt, and sugar.  Using your hands, mix in margarine until your have pea-sized pieces ( as if you are making pie dough),

In separate bowl: dissolve yeast in warm water according to package directions; add  egg yolks and warm milk.

Combine all ingredients and stir until smooth. Do not knead. Cover dough and refrigerate overnight.

Turn dough onto lightly floured surface. Divide in half. Roll each portion into a 13 X 9 inch rectangle.  Stir filling  ingredients until fluffy.  Spread over rectangles. Roll up jell-roll style, starting with a long side.

Place rolls  seam side down at the edges of a 13 X 9 inch baking pan. Cover and let sit until doubled, about 3 hours. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until brown.  Make glaze and frost the cakes while they are still warm..

SHOULD A LADY CHEW GUM?

I was brought up on  etiquette guidelines from Emily Post , who declared that no lady should ever chew gum in public. I’m quite sure that I never saw my mother or any of her friends chewing gum, anywhere, ever.   Even to this day, manners gurus will tell you that chewing gum is extremely rude.

Chewing gum is good for your health
EMILY POST SAID CHEWING GUM WAS UNLADYLIKE

But if you stop at any drugstore counter and see the array of chewing gum for sale, you have to conclude that there are a lot of vulgarians in our culture. Kate Middleton’s mother was royally criticized by the queen  for chewing gum in public during a tennis match, until she explained she was trying to quit smoking.

As teenagers in the fifties, most of us chewed gum if we were going on a special date.  That was the only way to guarantee fresh breath if you were kissing someone goodnight.  Admittedly, a person chewing gum the way I do reminds one of a cow chewing her cud.  I cannot chew gum softly and quietly.  I have to chomp and snap it.  Therefore, my gum chewing must be done in private.  I’ve  recently taken up the vile habit in order to open up  my  dysfunctional  eustaschian tubes.  Clogged up tubes cause poor hearing and balance issues, so  I have a perfectly good excuse.

In addition to helping you  clear your ears and quit smoking,  health experts will give you several reasons why chewing gum is good for your health.

.Reduces  stress and anxiety.  Just chew away all that nervous tension.

. Improves memory and concentration

. Helps you lose weight by warding off food cravings.

.Relieves nausea after surgery

. Relieves dry mouth

There are pros and cons to chewing gum
THIS IS THE BUILDING IN CHICAGO THAT WRIGLEY CHEWING GUM BUILT

When you see all the chewing gum for sale everywhere, you can easily see that a lot of people are defying Emily Post.  The Wrigley Building  in Chicago, built in 1920,  would certainly attest  to the popularity of chewing gum.  But there are a few caveats:  too much gum chewing can hurt your jaw, and give you a headache.  Sugary gum is bad for your teeth.   But if done in moderation, it appears to be an inexpensive, natural way to improve your quality of life.

 If you can walk and chew gum, you’re in pretty good shape.

7 SIGNS YOUR KIDS ARE CHECKING ON YOU

We all agree that responsible parents nose around their children’s bedroom to find out what they might be doing wrong.   Eventually, they leave our house, get married, move away, start their own families, and we basically stop worrying about them.  But suddenly, when you turn eighty,  you see  signs that your children are checking on you.

Most parents of teenagers  will admit to inspecting  their room for  pot, cigarettes   condoms ,  pregnancy tests , alcohol, or  God-forbid, guns.  In the old days, parents would look for handwritten notes and letters, but it’s more difficult nowadays to check their texts and private Instagram account.  Yes, we were guilty of invading their privacy, but it seemed like a justifiable breach of ethics.  And, lets face it, parents who don’t know what’s going on in their kids private lives may end up finding out they’ve decided to take a gun to school and shoot someone.

But it comes as a surprise when you turn 80, and  the tables are turned.  Here are 7 signs  your adult children are checking on you.

A ROLE REVERSAL TAKES PLACE WHEN YOU TURN 80

 

1. Surprise visits.  This is especially telling if they don’t live nearby. Suddenly, they arrive at your door with no apology for getting you out of bed at 9 a.m., or catching you wearing a dirty tee shirt and sweat pants.

2.  Request that you drive them on an errand they could easily do on their own. At first, you wonder if they’re too cheap to use their own gas.  Then, you get it. The driving test is meant to determine whether you stay in the same lane, drive 10 miles an hours, run red lights, or pull out in front of oncoming cars. They might also question how  you got that dented fender  when someone hit you in the parking lot.

3.  Root around in your refrigerator.  Is it clean?  Are there  containers with moldy leftovers?  Do you have too many bottles of ketchup? (This indicates memory problems, because you forgot you already had  ketchup when you went to to the store.

4.  Investigate the papers  on your desk.  Usually, the child will wait until they think you’re busy with something else.   Then, you catch them going through your desk drawers and checkbooks.  They’re looking for  money management skills.  Do you pay your bills on time? Are there letters from creditors for overdue bills?

5.  Lengthy visits to both bathrooms.  According to experts, dirty bathrooms are the first sign a parent is losing it.  They might clean up the living room and make their beds if they know you’re coming, but if their eyesight is so poor, and their housekeeping so slovenly that they won’t clean their toilets or sink, much less scrub the floors, they’re losing it.

6.  The sniff test.  A prolonged hug, or unnatural closeness could mean they’re checking your personal hygiene.  How often do you bathe and wash your hair?  Do you wear clean clothes?  If you flunk this test,  they might ask if you need help taking a shower.

7.  Going through your medicine cabinet.  Do you have expired prescription drugs?  Dried up bottles of Pepto Bismo?  When they leave, you may find your medicine cabinet is half empty.

It’s irritating when you realize your children are turning the tables, sneaking around to check on you the way you did when they were teenagers.  But at least it means they care.

Just a word of advice:  If you know the kids are going to drop by, hide those extra bottles of ketchup in the frig and for heaven’s sake, clean your bathroom.

STUDENT’S WINNING ATTITUDE LEADS TO SUCCESS

The #1 engineering college In the United States(RHIT) is 5 minutes away from my home.  Fortunately, for we townies, they offer us an opportunity to swim in their magnificent pool on weekday mornings.  There, I can see firsthand why a student’s  attitude leads to success.

One lifeguard is extremely friendly, helpful, and conscientious.  I knew she was probably a student with a part time job, but the other day, I witnessed her on the diving board doing some amazing backward flips.  This girl is a real star, but you would never know it from the humility with which she conducts herself.  You don’t get into that school unless you’re extremely bright, but she’s also talented.  Obviously, it could be a bit boring for such  an outstanding student to lifeguard a bunch of local ladies, but she’s caring and enthusiastic.  I know that this student’s winning attitude will lead to success.

A good attitude leads to asucces
STUDENT DIVER HAS A WINNING ATTITUDE

Conversely, I remembered a student interning with me when I was a hospital department manager.   This girl  was a real beauty:  blonde hair, perfect figure, pretty face.  Unfortunately, she had little enthusiasm.  She walked into the department as if she’d just gotten out of bed, yawning frequently, showing little interest in the patients she worked with.  It made me wonder why she had chosen to work in the field at all, but I suppose it seemed like something that would pay well and not require a whole lot of effort.

In her defense, maybe she had some emotional problems.  But even if that were the case, she should have known that in the workplace,  you may have  smile even if you don’t feel like it.

Remember the song , “big girls don’t cry.”  When you’re an adult, sometimes you have to fake it, and pretend you’re happy even if you’re not.  I don’t know what happened to this student after college, and never heard from her again.  Obviously, she didn’t make a name for herself.

If these  two girls had entered the same beauty contest, The  beautiful blonde intern would probably have won.   But you can’t get by on just your looks in the real world.   A good attitude and hard work will take  you much further in the long run.

I don’t have to wonder whether my friendly lifeguard will prosper after she graduates from college. It seems safe to predict that she will be living long and  well after 80.

CHILDHOOD OBESITY VS. HUNGER

News junkies that we are, my husband and I take two daily newspapers which we read  over coffee every morning.  Today, each newspaper had a headline that seemed somewhat contradictory:

Local paper: Students host program to highlight hunger, support backpack program

IndyStar: Jump In battles weighty problem of youth obesity

What a contrast between the two articles:   Childhood obesity vs. hunger.

Many children go hungry over the weekend
THE BACKPACK PROGRAM HELPS RELIEVE CHILDHOOD HUNGER

Which is worse?   Obviously, it’s painful to suffer hunger pangs.  And yet some of these children may also be obese because their parents can’t afford fresh fruits and vegetables or  other healthy foods.

Once upon a time, supermarkets like A&P were  in the heart of the inner city, so nutritious food was more accessible for low income families.  But the major food chains have relocated along the highways , where  you can’t go if you don’t own a vehicle.

Dollar stores located in poor areas have plenty of  bread, cakes, cookies and crackers full of carbohydrates and sodium.  They also have salty, fatty lunch meat , sausage, bacon, greasy snack foods and pizza. .  Drive by these inner city stores anytime and you will see people carrying sacks of food, walking along the sidewalks to their homes.  Without a car or truck, they have no way of getting to the  stores out on the highway, where the counters are loaded with tomatoes, carrots, oranges, apples and other fresh produce. When the mom gets home, the kids  may gorge on potato chips, bread and jelly or other unhealthy snacks.   For dinner that evening they may have sausage and eggs, because their parents can’t drive to  a grocery store for salads and lean meat.

The backpack program at our local school corporation strives  to relieve the hunger problem, especially over weekends and holidays, when children may have no food in the house.   Drug abuse, alcohol, and mental health issues all contribute to child neglect.  And even in stable families, a dad can lose his job, or the mom gets sick, and there isn’t any money left for the basics.

40$ OF CHILDREN IN THE US ARE OBESE
OBESITY CAN OCCUR IN ANY SOCIO ECONOMIC GROUP

On the other hand, childhood obesity can happen in any socioeconomic group. Why is it increasing?  In the old days, kids walked to school and played outdoors instead of staying inside on their computer or smartphone.  More exercise and better food choices would obviously help some of the kids to slim down.   Many children turn to food for comfort.  If they’re depressed, lonely, or unpopular, a chocolate bar may relieve the unhappiness.  My daughter once had an overweight friend who ate spoons full of sugar right from the package.

 43% of  children under 19 in the state of Indiana are  obese.  Conversely,  40% of the children in my community are living in poverty.  Politicians come and go, but the dismal statistics haven’t changed much in the past 50 years.

Suggestions anyone?